So my friend William invited me to go to Cabo last night. I didn't go cause I was hanging out with Ray. If I had gone I would've seen him... with her. I'm kind of upset I didn't go. I feel like if I see him with her that would be it. I could be done with it. I want to be done with this. I have to see them before they go back to FL. 

Jan - last night was amazing.

Feb- sailboats

March- I've been staying at Mike's.

April- everyone keeps telling me i'll make the right decision.... but what if i don't.

May- so... Gary's fiancee is pregnant.

June- I blame Bill for this.

July- his wife?

August - surprises surprises... hmm... who knew?

September- ok, so... i know it's been a ( Read more... )

i remembered the third dream. i was having a mini-party at my house with some people from Levittown and my mom was cleaning the house and so we all went down to the basement. then for some reason i had a gun in my hand, and after looking around for a minute, i realized that the only other person in the room with a gun was Andrew. duh duh duhhhhh ( Read more... )

so ( Read more... )

so....

I GOT INTO TOWSON!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so... i did sympathize w/ crystal... but not anymore.
Crystal is Alana's pregnant sister who was left by her fiance Gary... look in the last couple of entries to get the details...
anyway...
after the baby comes, which should be any day now...she's in labor but her water hasn't broken yet so she's not able to go into the hospital... she's moving in ( Read more... )

so... i saw that Gary added some new pictures. there was one of him and a cut out of Barack Obama and one of him and this blonde girl. I was curious, i clicked on it... apparently, she's the best girlfriend ever ( Read more... )

ok... so 1) he doesn't have a phone anymore. following is a theory as to why: he can't afford to buy diapers and pay for his phone bill. question posed by said theory: does she still have a phone? if yes: then my theory she's a money grubbing whore is correct if no: then they're just poor ( Read more... )

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now:

10. I wish you would get mad at me... that you would just realize that i am in fact, imperfect

9. I really look up to you, you're brilliant, and steady but i wish sometimes you would make better choices

8. I'm sorry that this happened to you... i really am.

7. why do you inisit on not ( Read more... )

I want a kid... isn't that weird?
I mean.... a lot of people just assumed I did... but I mean... I want a kid...

As I'm writing this I'm getting a weird feeling in my gut and it's crawling up to my throat...
I guess that's fear, right?

I'm terrified, but I finally figured out. that's what I want.
Not right now but eventually... within the next 10 ( Read more... )