Tell me what ya'll think.

Good morning, Ben.

I'm still dreaming. You know how I know? It's because my life isn't shit in here. I don't have to get out of bed, my girlfriend isn't a zombie that has neither slept nor been awake in the past three days. I don't have to go to work. That's all in this cozy little dream world though.

At the sound of ( Read more... )

Who wants to go camping? I haven't been out in the sticks since I was perhaps fourteen. Building fires, staring up at the stars, sleeping on the ground. I don't know what I would roast over the fire, polish sausage and marshmallows both seem unappetizing at this point in my life. Perhaps we could just drink tremendous amounts of wine. A clear ( Read more... )

I have a brother-in-law. I get a weird creepy feeling just putting that down. My sister married young, partly out of necessity. Not hers, but his. She sacrificed freedom for his citizenship, which I think is pretty noble. I've noticed that they are a great match for each other. Not the perfect couple that never fights and agrees on everything. They ( Read more... )

Inappropriate laughter. A snicker that comes out in an almost explosive build-up of air. It's like trying to hold back a sneeze that is determined to escape. It's going to come out, it's just up to you to decide how. Fight it! This option gives you maybe a 5% chance of actually suppressing all noise. There's something biologically urgent about this ( Read more... )

She sits on her couch in her living room. She doesn't have a reason to do so. Not having a reason to sit on the couch makes her wonder if she should be doing it. If I don't have a reason to be seated, is it a valid choice to do so? I have a reason, standing requires effort, I'm just trying to be comfortable. I want to relax. That's fine, I suppose ( Read more... )

Our hero lights a cigarette after exiting Razran Hall. The class he just left was not particularly demanding, though it was interesting. The wind makes the fire produced by his lighter dance around his unlit Dunhill and ultimately extinguishes it. He attempts once more, having found the optimal body position for blocking the meddlesome wind. The ( Read more... )

I saw an adorable bird today ( Read more... )

It's true. This one's a doozy, but I really like it. Why don't you tell me what you think?

Special Bonus Question: I'm particularly interested in my female readers' opinions, is this piece misogynistic?

He said, “So I was at BJ's stocking up on food and the necessary accouterments of my bachelor lifestyle.”

I interject, “Accouterments? Really? You' ( Read more... )

“Sooooo, do you have any questions?”

“Yeah, what was the point of all that?”

“Do you really want to know? Do you have complaints?”

“I'm here right? I might as well find out. My only complaint is that it seems to be all for naught.”

“You people always start speaking in Old English when you meet me. Relax. Speak normally.”

“That was unintentional, I ( Read more... )

1105 - I wake up to the last hour of the Lionel Show on Air America. My bedroom clock-radio (an incredibly uninspired name) is at a low-medium volume. He has asked women who have gotten abortions to call in and discuss their feelings on the oft- and highly heatedly-debated procedure (probably due to it being the anniversary of the Roe v. Wade ( Read more... )