I thought that by now, I'd be in the hopsital and weighing in at only 90 pounds. I thought that by now, friends would be worried and distressed that my being anorexic is beyond their thoughts. I thought by now, I would be anorexic ( Read more... )

Hey, how 'bout actually starving for once? Yeah, sounds like a plan to me. Yay Team ME.

A little too long to be away from here. No wonder I've slipped so far away! School's started. This is good news. I don't like it, but I know it'll be good for me. I'll be away from food as much as possible since I have my own car now. This all means I can go to school later (don't have to eat breakfast to please my mother), can go home for lunch, ( Read more... )

I love that when I make a plan, I don't stick to it.

I love that when I don't make a plan, I don't not stick to it.

I love that I have no self-control whatsoever.

Well, it's officially the 26th. And so, here I go.

August 25th 26th - September 1st: 5 lbs (total = 5 lbs)<155>
Sept. 1st - Sept. 8th: 5 lbs (total = 10 lbs) <150>
Sept. 8th - Sept. 22nd: 5 lbs (total = 15 lbs) <145>
Sept. 22nd - Oct. 6th: 5 lbs (total = 20 lbs) <140>
Oct. 6th - Oct. 20th: 5 lbs (total = 25 lbs) <135 ( Read more... )

Well, life is just great. I'm probably bigger than I've ever been, uglier than ever, and school starts in about two weeks. I'm kinda glad in a way that I didn't do cheer this year. I'm this big, fat pig in another cheer skirt would be absolutely disgraceful ( Read more... )

Well, I hope the picture works for you now, o.r.b. I drew it in an extreme ana moment. It was intense, and I was loving it...but, it ended when I got to church camp. There was too much food and too much to do that I just couldn't starve that week. And ever since then, I've been bad. I wish I could just be skinny. Without having to starve or ( Read more... )

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Haven't posted on this one in a while. Also because I've been dreadfully bad with being ana. I mean, everyday I'm eating thousands of calories. It's horrible. I'm never going to be thin. I've had my chance. I've had so many years to get this right and now look at me...fatter than ever. My ana bracelets went completely down the drain. All my ( Read more... )

Well, looks like I'm happy with being F A T. Because I keep messing up like a complete idiot. I could have just stopped with the fries...or just not have eaten them entirely, and I would have been fine. I didn't even need those fries. AND THEN I had an effing milkshake. I mean, come on here self, what am I doing? Good thing is that I'm happy. I don ( Read more... )