Hm, well that plan went down the drain! Even WITH popping two Metabolifes I ate. It was a massacure! Anyways, here's some inspiration..."mistakes are ok, as long as you don't make them again." My grandpa told me that when I was learning how to drive, but I'm sure it can apply to this. Also, I have this one from one of my teachers..."if what you did ( Read more... )

( I ate... )

I'm excited for this. I don't want to do it, but I have to.

I have to do this because I have to socialize with my hot neighbors and befriend them. Befriending them requires me to be thin.
I have to do this because wearing my dream prom dress in my 160 pound body is not attractive ( Read more... )

Again, nothing important to write about. I just feel like writing.

My hands are really cold. Not related to fasting or anything. Oh no...now why would I do that? :-P

Tomorrow, I don't want to fast, but I have to. Just like justyna said. It's not something I want to do, but something I have to do. And it's true. I don't want to do it, but the fact that I ( Read more... )

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So there's really no reason for me writing right now. I mean, nothing big is happening that's worth telling everyone about. But I know there's something inside of me I need to get out...there always is ( Read more... )

Gosh, today I blew up at my Grandma. In my mind, I completely justified it and still feel that way ( Read more... )

I hate this hole I've put myself into. This self-inflicted vicious circle of depression. I most strongly feel that I am the reason as to why I have no real friends. I don't put my trust into anyone's hands right now. I can not trust one person. Gosh the ana communities help like no other. Just looking at other girl's successes take away my pain. ( Read more... )

Eating, nor cutting, nor writing, nor listening to music, nor starving, nor crying, nor talking, nor laughing, nor trying to forget all the bad things help me. I am just so blah. I want to just curl up in a ball and go away. A nice, tiny little ball. Disappear into the darkness. I have no real friends. I have no real life. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm a ( Read more... )

I understand now why I am always going to be lonely. I will never get married, never keep a friend, and die lonely. I severly push people away. I don't think I'm good enough, pretty enough, perfect enough for anyone and therefore...why would they want to be friends with ME? Of all people to be friends with, why would anyone choose me? I KNOW for a ( Read more... )