i couldn't help posting another entry.
i know, this is three in one day, but i just have something to say.

while i had a good day, i've been finding myself speaking strangely.
it's probably undetectable to everyone else, but i hear it.
odd things are coming out of my mouth, like "word vomit."
i don't know what's gotten into me.
it's like i'll get off ( Read more... )

school was great today.
i really don't know what the hell i was worried about.
there was no drama, and just about everyone i talked to was nice.
i have a lot of friends in my lunch period to sit with, and everything was okay.
i felt good and confident and happy and i know already that this is going to be a good year.
all i have to say is that it's about ( Read more... )

haha, i'm kidding.
so my summer is officially over at 8 AM today, and i'm actually not sad.
i'm kind of excited.
and the stress has worn off too.
i really have a feeling this will be a good year.
i'm really going to try and do everything right this year.
no drama, no bullshit, no lies...
just a good year making good grades and hanging out with the best ( Read more... )

ha, i said i liked a video that made fun of the jonas brothers and their silly little obsessed fans hated on me so bad.
i mean, i like them, but i'm not all OMJ!
god.

but yeah, today was a good day.
i went out to eat at ihop with my mom, her friend diane, diane's husband jerry, and jordan and we had a lot of fun.
i'm actually not too sad to go back to ( Read more... )

why is it that when you want to hate someone, it makes it that much harder to?
why is it that when you want to let go, it makes you hold on that much harder?
i just don't understand.
it's like the months haven't gone by and words haven't been said and i'm forever frozen in 5 AM on the morning of april 2nd, when i woke up in a cold sweat and crying.
( Read more... )

so we had orientation for school today.
it was stressful, very much so.
all week i was panicking about my clothes and my hair and everything still turned out somewhat disastrous.
not as bad as possible, but not how i wanted it.
i'm a perfectionist and i wanted things to go perfectly and they just didn't.

and i slept, like, less than two hours last night ( Read more... )

you know what i've realized about myself?
i go into panic mode and overreact.
i think about all the bad things and they seem to just pile up and look so overwhelming...
life really isn't bad.
that guy?
he's out of my life, and i'm so happy.
sometimes i think about how i messed it all up and what could've been, but i know everything happens for a reason.
( Read more... )

today was my brother's birthday.
he's twelve, and he's so happy.
he's had a great birthday, and he's been smiling all day.
i've been trying to be happy for him, and i've succeeded somewhat...
but for some reason, i can't help but be down on myself for all my problems.

like the stupid stupid stupid guy i almost dated.
why am i not over it?
i thought if i ( Read more... )

fuck.
i'm sick of ignorant people.
this town is full of them.
i have to put up with them and be nice to them and i'm sick of it.
i need a few days out of here.
mom's in cincinatti and i wish i could've gone.
yeah, i am a little depressed.

i'm also tired because last night i stayed at connie's house and supposedly these two guys were loose out there and ( Read more... )

wow, this day has barely begun and it's already a roller coaster.
jordan called me last nigh at 2:00 AM, and we really sorted things out.
we're best friends.
not each other's ONLY friends like before, but best friends.
there was a lot of damage done, but we can build through this destruction.
he's ready to change his life and he reached out to me for ( Read more... )