I am incredibly irritable right now. I know a lot of it is female-related, and that I spent all day, minus a dump and grocery store trip, cooped up in the apartment with Justin while he's in the middle of an angry, depressive episode. I can tell it's intense, and that kind of energy just permeates the apartment, even when he's in the bedroom with ( Read more... )

I completely broke down the other day when I saw that all of the comments a friend of mine had left on my old journal were deleted because he deleted his journal. I cried for at least an hour. It was a moment of grief that I'd been running away from for seven years. God, I miss my friend. He did some fucked up things, but he was still my best ( Read more... )

I am starting to sink into a depression again, and it really feels like I just got out of one. I know it's situational this time, though, and not just a malfunction in brain chemicals. I'm having a really hard time in two of my classes at GMU and it's making me question my choice of major. Or it could be that I'm needing to adjust to a new college ( Read more... )

I am a raging ball of anxiety right now, and I have no idea why. Everything is fine. Things are going great, actually. I made it through my first week of actual college and I've already made a study buddy, possibly two. And I didn't even have to initiate it. He's the one who suggested we keep in touch and study together since we're in literally all ( Read more... )

Another angel who couldn't take another moment in this world. It is so hard to be here when you truly care for every soul you encounter, and you can see in his eyes that he did. There have been so many times when I've wanted to do exactly what he did, but something always stops me. Because we're needed here, desperately, and we have to stick ( Read more... )

I can't stop thinking about my old friend. This is really bad. I'm sitting here, too sick to do anything today, with my heart heavy as I think about everything that went wrong at the end of our friendship. And I have no way of talking to him. I just wish I could contact him and tell him that I'd like to give our friendship another try. But I can't ( Read more... )

Good lord Justin and he who must not be named are a lot alike. Maybe it has something to do with their birthdays only being 7 days apart. But their personalities and interests are eerily similar, I'm realizing. Just had to blurt that out. I've known this for a while, but I'm realizing they are more similar than I originally thought ( Read more... )

I took a nap this afternoon and I had a dream. And he was in the dream. I haven't had a dream with him in it since we were friends, probably since 2006. And in all of those dreams I was never able to talk to him, only look at him, see him driving up my street, in a crowd at my job, etc. In this dream we were riding in a car together and stopped at ( Read more... )

I can't handle stress. I really can't, it's a legitimate medical problem with this stupid disease. I also can't handle the fact that I have to deal with all stress completely by myself because my partner is (actually, I'm not being insulting here) bipolar and schizophrenic and is also developing MS, too, so he can't handle stress. How are we going ( Read more... )

I am so bored. I don't know what to do with myself. I really miss when I wasn't too sick to work a regular job. I know school will be starting in a month and then I will be anything but bored, but right now I'm going crazy. I am getting a lot of my HAED cross stitch that's going to take a million years done, though, relatively speaking ( Read more... )