me and a missed connection:
"You were the barista that made me a coffee and tried to help me fix my lid problem. Just wanted to say that you are absolutely gorgeous. Hotter than the coffee."
oh my goodness.

Priorities are difficult to keep in the correct order. Or maybe it is life goals that I am trying to access some thought into. I just returned from an interview at Whole Foods to work in the bakery. The interview went well and they will probably offer me a job in the next day or two. Is that what I want to be doing though? Currently, I am working ( Read more... )

So, I have arrived in Portland. I just got off of the phone with dearest Maeri. I am a little bit on freak out mode. I feel great, everything is great. Some part of me is upset though. I feel inferior to all of the fancy, stylized, rich ways that it seems Portland has surrounded me with. In some ways, I feel like I was warned. As many bad things as ( Read more... )

The train to Portland leaves at 11 tonight. It is around 9:30 right now. My dad is going to drive me to the train station in about half an hour. I am packed. I seem calm. My state of being really is this- I have been busy eating cold canned green beans and slamming cheap vodka ( Read more... )

one time I saw a list that someone had posted of things they hate and I thought it was funny ( Read more... )

Enough. Today is not mopey ( Read more... )

After months of sitting around doing absolutely nothing with myself, today I was called up and hired at a restaurant. As luck would have it, the restaurant is adorable and a mere two block walk from where I live. The owner called me and was excited about the amount of experience/expertise I have after reviewing my resume. I was excited that it ( Read more... )

medication of choice ( Read more... )

My thoughts keep going in messy lines with little pieces of clarity every once in a while. I keep thinking I will grab on to one of these things that seems to make me believe I have put something into words that was just feelings without ideas behind it yet. It makes me feel less ill or a little bit more reasonable when words can appear to solve a ( Read more... )

Life really is a cruel lonely joke. This is a horrible journal entry for anywhere, especially on the goddamn internet but I have to try and understand why I am so upset. Why do people get so depressed and upset? I try to blow it off and say that I am just bored or something like it is just a big joke. This is no joke. I am filled with immobilizing ( Read more... )