Its like a pressure within you. It is constantly building. You can let it off a constantly and it begins to sound like a whine. You can let it off in bursts but it will be stronger. You can let it build & fight it and it will find its own way out. You can fight so hard you think you conquer it but suddenly you explode & the results are extreme.
( Read more... )

Think about it every day still

no god no heaven no after life what stopping

god after life better what's stopping

faith for the weak to explain to enderstand to feel better.

Think of elaborate ways to die.
No pain
just blink out or dissapear
everyone goes @ same time
hate this pain.

Do the web site
build the playground
web site for TCF

about control

Laughed @ ben
Cried
Comfort?

Heather went in today. I paniked. Why? not anger not hurt panic

is changing her room like erasing her?

Is fixing a sink she helped break erasing her?

the memory is fading. The sound of her voice is fading.

I'm afraid it will be lost.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Can someone be erased.? What would it take. How complete would it have to be?

Not about God
Not about person
about self, comfort, answers

How did we make it through today?
.
All wrong. We avoided talking about Delaney. We didn't light a candle. It felt awkward & wrong all day.
.
Now I'm in bed crying about how it should be different. I want a do over.
.
Note to Self: For Xmas we need to do something to remember & acknowledge. If it makes people sad or uncomfortable too bad. Today we didn't ( Read more... )

I am back once again. I am confident that I only have 1 or 2 people who read this. I write it primarily for me. I post it online because I do have a hope that one day when someone like me is seeking comfort that they find that by looking at my journey that they are not alone. When I first started my grief journey I was in search of another Man. ( Read more... )

I have written but not posted several posts over the past months. I did them fro. The phone but never finished them. Well the phone crashed and all the posts were lost. Much like many of my memories in the past months.

This weekend was 5 months since my little girl died. I am a wreck & have been since the time I realized the date. The days really ( Read more... )

There is a line. It stretches infinately in each direction. On one side of that line is life; the other death. You cannot see past the line. You cannot see over, or around the line. Once you cross the line you cannot come back.

We do not know what is on the other side of that line. There are many beliefs. Much faith, much hope goes into those ( Read more... )