Fic: Blank Mind 3/3
Title: Blank Mind 3/3 - Complete
Universe: XI
Rating: NC-17
Relationship status: established relationship
Word count: 5578 this part (16,600 overall)
Genre: angst
Trope: amnesia
Warning: Language, adult themes, trauma, graphic/explicit sex, fluff.
A/N: Last part. Let me know if you enjoy it because it makes me feel like the cookie monster being given cookies. :)
Summary: Jim wakes up believing it to be the day he walked onto the bridge as captain, about to leave Earth’s space dock (the end of XI). It’s actually two years since that day and he’s bonded and married to Spock.
Previous parts: Part One | Part Two
Blank Mind
Part Three
‘It appears,’ Pike starts, sitting forward and almost filling the whole screen, ‘that the USS Excelsior has discovered a species on a first contact mission which has the ability of memory retrieval and alteration. Whereas other species have limited ability, this species named ‘Fornac’ appear to be highly advanced in the memory cortex of the brain in several species. They have been reported as very hospitable and peaceful which bodes well if we want to ask them a favour.’
Jim swallows, looking across the table at Spock. Spock raises an eyebrow before slowly pushing himself up and walking around the table to stand by Jim.
‘Until we can assess them more fully, I am reluctant to leave Jim in their hands.’
Pike nods. ‘The Excelsior is doing as much research as they can and are constantly reporting back on this new civilisation. They appear to be friendly so I don’t think it long before things can be confirmed. However, I think it best to give you the coordinates so you can get on your way to this planet and by the time you get there, Starfleet officers will have validated and confirmed their abilities.’
Spock places a hand on Jim’s shoulder, and Jim doesn’t shift away from the contact as he feels a surge of warmth spreading throughout his body. He can see Pike fighting back a smile at the scene.
‘OK, page through the coordinates and we’ll get going.’
Pike nods and the screen goes black.
Spock sits opposite him immediately, taking one of Jim’s hands in his softly. ‘I have a number of reservations about allowing a civilisation which is largely unknown to retrieve your memories. The likelihood of possible brain damage makes me believe it would be better for you not to attempt it.’
Jim swallows, looking down to where his hand is surrounded by the strong Vulcan one. ‘Spock, you need me back. It’s not just want anymore, but you need your husband back, and I know I’m him and everything but at the same time I’m really not. We’ll keep analysing the reports we get sent from the Excelsior, and if everything seems OK, I’m going to try it.’
‘Jim, I-’
‘I know you’re worried, but I’ll be fine. We better go get that course laid in.’
Jim stands, his hand falling out of Spock’s grip, and leaves the office, aware of the worried Vulcan gaze watching him go.
…..
‘I agree with Spock,’ McCoy growls, standing up from behind his desk. ‘You can’t just let some random alien race run around in your brain. What if you come back thinking you’re 5 years old? What the hell will we do then?’
Jim sighs, expecting this reaction as he feels Spock’s approval at McCoy’s words seep into him from where he’s stood behind him. ‘I know, but this is my only hope right now.’
‘Time,’ McCoy snaps. ‘Just be patient and more things will come back.’
‘I’ve had only 3 flickers of memories come back in the last month, Bones. At this rate I’ll be in my 70’s before I remember everything.’
‘It’s still dangerous, Jim,’ McCoy argues. ‘As your CMO, I can’t support your decision to go down there.’
‘Look, we have a week before we arrive in the planet’s system and by that time, more research will come through and things will be fine. I really would rather do this with your support, Bones.’
‘Well, you don’t have it. It’s damn reckless. I’m surprised Spock’s letting you go through with it.’
‘I have expressed my objection to the situation, but Jim is determined.’
McCoy raises an eyebrow at Spock. ‘Object harder.’
‘Excuse me?’ Jim says, voice rising with annoyance. ‘Spock doesn’t control me, I can make the decision myself, thank you. ‘
‘Well, Jim, he’s your husband and you both make decisions together.’
Jim bites his lip to stop himself saying something hurtful, his anger boiling up. ‘This is my mind and if I look over the reports and am satisfied, then I’m going for it.’
‘It’s stupid,’ McCoy snaps.
Jim turns on him, eyes flashing. ‘May I remind you both than I’m the captain here and I outrank you both?’
Spock’s posture shifts ever so slightly and his hand flies up to stop McCoy from running his mouth off at Jim. ‘Jim, may I remind you that Doctor McCoy is your closest friend and I am your bondmate? If you respect rank, you must also respect personal relationship.’
‘At the end of the day, this is my decision and I’m done being talked down to by my crew because they assume I’m an incompetent captain that they hate being stuck with.’
Spock’s eyes harden. ‘If any crew members have been insubordinate to you, you should have reported them.’
Jim waves him off. ‘They’re not doing in a direct way; they seem annoyed that they have a captain who has no idea what the hell he’s doing. Again.’ Jim pauses, letting out a sigh. ‘I’m going to my quarters.’
‘I will accompany you,’ Spock states, hands clasped behind his back.
‘No, I need some time to think,’ Jim says as sternly as possible, knowing that if he doesn’t put his foot down, Spock will follow him.
‘Very well,’ Spock says, his feet planted on the ground.
….
The week goes by slowly with small bits of information coming through from the Excelsior. Jim knows there will be never be enough to reassure Spock who is becoming more and more agitated the closer they get to the planet. He doesn’t show it, but Jim can feel it when he’s sitting in his captain’s chair, Spock’s nervousness and worry wrapping itself around Jim. It isn’t helpful considering it makes his own reservations about what he might be doing ten times worse.
Jim feels helpless over the situation because even when Spock is comforting him, sparks of loss come through the bond, reminding Jim that he isn’t what Spock wants. That he’s not really the husband he needs and it makes Jim even more desperate. The reservations he has start to fade away slightly because it gets to the point where he realises that he has to try. He can’t keep trying to be a captain when every time he walks onto the bridge, he sees the hope in everyone’s eyes as they wonder if he woke up with his memories. Then he has to suffer through the sadness and disappointment when they realise he hasn’t.
By the time they arrive at the planet Jim is frustrated and desperate and ready to try anything. He strides down the corridor to the transporter room with purpose and determination. He knows McCoy is in sick bay and Spock is on the bridge so no one’s around to stop him beaming down straight away.
He walks into the transporter room, nodding at Scotty who looks uncomfortable that Jim is alone. Jim is about to get onto the pad when Spock strides in through the door, giving Jim a look like he didn’t really think he could beam down without him knowing about it.
‘You’re dismissed, commander,’ Jim tries.
Spock doesn’t move, his head cocked, and Jim feels a sudden pang of annoyance seep through. ‘Captain, I will be accompanying you.’
‘They’re a peaceful civilisation; I don’t need to be accompanied.’
‘Starfleet regulations state that-’
‘No, I’m the captain and I want to go alone, got it?’ Jim snaps, unable to keep his anger at bay after a week filled with passive aggressiveness and disapproval from his commanding staff. Scotty averts his eyes.
Spock’s eyes flutter ever so slightly as he nods slowly. Jim can feel the worry and rejection coming through and Jim feels his fingers curl into fists. ‘Stop letting your feelings through. It’s distracting.’
Jim sighs with relief when every emotion that isn’t his is ripped away. He goes onto the pad and nods at Scotty, avoiding Spock’s dark, concerned gaze.
Jim dematerialises and takes in the Fornac standing in front of him. There are four of them, all with human like bodies but with long thick blue tentacles protruding where arms should be. Their tentacles wiggle excitedly as they look at Jim, who is almost double their size.
‘I’m James Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise. Do you all speak standard?’
‘We do, captain,’ one of them says, his voice smooth and fluid. ‘Welcome to our humble planet.’
‘Thank you,’ Jim says with a smile. ‘I have been sent here-’
‘We have been informed by the other Starfleet personnel to expect you. I am pleased we able to provide assistance.’
Jim nods, feeling relieved that everything has already been explained.
‘We are ready for you now if you wish to get started,’ one of them say, their arm tentacles wiggling. Jim takes a breath and nods. ‘You must be open to the memories coming back, captain. You cannot be anxious or close your mind or it will make it worse.’
Jim nods awkwardly as he feels a tentacle wrap around his wrist and tug him toward a small, straw like hut. He looks back over his shoulder to the green grass field and finds it oddly like Earth.
‘Is it going to hurt?’ Jim asks nervously, as he walks into the hut and looks around, noticing a plain bed in one corner and nothing else.
One of the Fornac tilts its head. ‘Depends what you mean by hurt. Emotionally, I believe it will hurt greatly to realise what you have lost. Physically, there will be no pain.’
‘Ok,’ Jim says, wringing his hands anxiously. ‘Where do you want me?’
‘Lie on the bed, captain.’
‘Thanks,’ Jim says, as he awkwardly climbs onto the single bed and lies down. ‘Do you need to know any details? Like how long ago I lost my memory? How much of my memory has gone?’
‘All of that will be told by your mind, captain.’
‘Ok,’ Jim says lamely. He adjusts himself on the bed, everything happening so quickly that he can barely believe that he might get everything back, make his crew happy, and more importantly, make Spock happy.
He suddenly feels two slick, wet tentacles latch onto his face and Jim tries his hardest not to flinch away, the stickiness of the tentacle feeling unpleasant against his skin.
‘Open your mind,’ the Fornac behinds him says stoically. Jim tries hard, frees his mind as much as he can but nothing seems to happen. He’s still lying there, not being able to remember anything from the past two years and he wonders if he got all his hopes up for nothing.
‘You are having difficulty relaxing and opening, captain,’ the Fornac says calmly.
Jim snorts. ‘Had a guy say that to me once.’
The tentacles pull away from his face and Jim sits up, face apologetic, thinking he’s deeply offended them. ‘Sorry, that was really rude, ignore me.’
‘I am unaffected by your comment, captain. Your mind is simply not relaxed enough for me to enter in and retrieve your memories.’
Jim feels his heart pick up pace. ‘Try again, please?’ Jim tries, not really sure how he’s supposed to open his mind but he can at least try.
The Fornac regards him. ‘Do you have a friend or lover who could be with you to help you relax?’
Jim’s mind immediately goes to Spock who he knows is probably pacing around their room back on the Enterprise. It’s the logical choice, but right now, he’s closest to McCoy and knows him far better than Spock and maybe that would help.
‘Yeah, I’ll just use my communicator to bring them down.’
The Fornac nods and moves away as Jim flips open the communicator. ‘Kirk to Enterprise,’
‘Captain?’ he hears Scotty say.
‘Send Bones down, would you?’
‘Right away, captain.’
It’s only moments before he hears shuffling outside of the hut. The door swings open and Jim throws a smile on his face, but it quickly drops when Spock strides in, eyes intense and determined as they fix on Jim possessively.
‘I asked for Bones,’ Jim says calmly, aware several Fornacs are watching them with interest.
‘I have a mind link with you, it is better and safer for me to be with you.’
Jim nods, accepting it with a long, hard done by sigh because he really can’t be bothered to put up a fight. He lies back down on the bed and sees Spock settle on a chair next to him, his hand reaching out and entwining with Jim’s gently. Jim smiles.
The tentacles latch back onto his face and Jim feels Spock’s thumb rub circles on the back of his hand reassuringly and suddenly he’s gone, deep into his mind, and he is suddenly overwhelmed by sights, feelings and smells that he doesn’t recognize before his body shakes violently. And then his world goes dark and black.
…….
‘Am I drunk?’ Jim asks, swaying slightly as he leans against the bar on their latest shore leave.
McCoy eyes him. ‘Considering you just licked the bar, I’d say so.’
Jim looks down to where his drink had spilled out of the shot glass. ‘Whatever, you’re jealous you didn’t get a free shot for being pretty.’
‘So, so jealous,’ McCoy says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes.
‘Oh my god, Bones, look at this guy, he has like 6 purple tentacles,’ Jim says loudly, looking at the alien that’s just come to stand at the bar next to him.
The alien in question turns around with a slightly intrigued look considering Jim wasn’t at all quiet with his remark.
‘I am Steve,’ he says.
Jim’s mouth falls open and he can barely contain himself as he bursts into laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks as he jabs a thumb in his direction as he looks at Bones like the alien’s just told the funniest joke ever.
Jim turns to him, still laughing silently. ‘Steve? Isn’t that a bit human?’
‘My grandfather is human,’ Steve says, not looking at all offended as Jim gets his breath back.
‘That means your granddad had sex with one of you,’ Jim observes, giggling to himself at the thought. His face drops when he actually considers what tentacle sex would be like.
Steve looks him up and down. ‘Do you want to have sex with me?’
Jim’s eyes bulge, like he can’t believe his luck, and he turns to McCoy. ‘I’ve scored. See you later.’
Jim turns back to Steve, wrapping his arm around the purple spongy skin of Steve’s body. ‘So, I want you to show me all the things you can do with your tentacles.’
They start walking through the throng of people, many of the crew giving Jim an amused look, when suddenly Spock is in front of him, eyes hard and annoyed.
‘Spocky,’ Jim says with a large grin. ‘Steve here, has six tentacles. Isn’t that awesome?’
Spock raises an un-amused eyebrow and stares at the purple alien.
‘Hi there,’ Steve says awkwardly as Jim prods one of his tentacles with interest.
‘Oh, Spock here is my amazing first officer, even though he does spend most of his time giving me disapproving looks like he wants to sit me down and discipline me.’
‘Sounds kinky,’ Steve comments.
‘Oh, Spock’s not like that. Vulcan’s are seriously repressed. To be honest with you, I’m not even sure he’d know where to shove his dick if he got with a guy.’
‘Jim,’ Spock snaps, getting his drunken attention. ‘You must come with me on a matter of severe urgency.’
‘But Spock,’ Jim whines, like a child having its toy taken away. ‘Imagine what Steve can do with six tentacles.’
Spock continues glaring, his gaze becoming even harder as he looks at Steve, eyebrow raised dangerously as his eyes flick down to where one of Steve’s tentacles is wrapped around Jim’s waist.
Jim slumps. ‘Fine, fine. I’ll see you later Steve.’ One of the tentacles comes up to wave.
As Jim is tucked into bed a bit later, Spock wrapping his cover around his body snugly, Jim vaguely wonders what the urgent business was, and then realises that Spock is a big fat liar.
//////
‘Pike,’ Jim says as the admiral appears on screen.
‘Jim, what do I owe this pleasure?’
‘Well, I just thought I’d let you know that the last away mission was a real success. I don’t remember much of it considering I was a llama, but I hear the peace talks went really well and they’ve come to a diplomatic agreement which works well for them and of course, for us.’
‘A llama?’ Pike asks, eyes wide.
‘A telepathic llama,’ Jim says, waggling his eyebrows. ‘It was awesome. Some of the crew took pictures to show me because I was a really pretty llama. I’m back to normal now though.’
‘Uh huh,’ Pike says in slight shock, his fingers touching his lips thoughtfully. ‘You wanna speak to me about anything else or was the reason you contacted me because you wanted to brag about being a telepathic llama?’
Jim grins. ‘I’ll have you know llamas are wonderful, caring creatures, and anyway, the other thing is that Spock and I are sleeping together. On a regular basis. Like all the time. Except when I get turned into animals though, because that’s wrong. I don’t know if you have to put that somewhere in our files but-’
Pike puts his hand up. ‘Stop right there. Are you joking?’
Jim shakes his head. ‘To be honest with you, I thought the llama story would soften the blow slightly, make it seem less shocking in comparison.’
Pike just stares at him. ‘Since when have you and Spock been… you know?’
‘About a month ago Spock suggested we have sexual intercourse. I don’t have the will power to turn down an offer like that so we did it, and then we did it again, and then it became a thing.’
‘Jim,’ Pike says, sounding tired. ‘If you two are sleeping together, we don’t need to put into any paper work and I’ll pretend you never told me. However, if you’re something more…’
Jim smiles a giddy, happy smile. ‘We are.’
Pike lets out an exhausted sigh. ‘I’ll forward you the documents you and Spock need to fill out.’
‘Thanks,’ Jim says sincerely.
‘For the record, Jim, I’m happy for you. On behalf of Starfleet though, couldn’t you have gotten together with someone who wasn’t your first officer?’
‘I would, but Vulcans are really good in bed,’ Jim says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Really. Good.’
Pike smiles, the skin by his eyes crinkling slightly. ‘Be careful, kid.’
‘I always am,’ Jim grins as he cuts off the transmission.
////////
Jim holds onto Spock’s arm as they walk into the large ballroom, couples of various species walking around them. It’s an annual ball that’s held on different planets every year and Starfleet have to attend in some form.
‘So you’re saying the King has twelve identical husbands?’ Jim asks as they walk through some people and over to the side.
‘The King chooses a mate who is then cloned,’ Spock says.
‘That is amazing. I mean, he has the dream. God, twelve of you…’ Jim says dreamily as his eyes lose focus.
‘Jim,’ Spock says, causing Jim to come back to himself.
‘Sorry, I was thinking about a kind of tag team situation,’ Jim says as a small red flush appears on his cheeks.
‘I doubt you could handle twelve of me,’ Spock comments casually.
Jim snorts. ‘Next time we’re on a planet we public cloning facilities, I can show you just how much I could handle twelve of you,’ Jim says darkly, letting his hand run up Spock’s thigh.
‘Jim? Jim Kirk?’ Jim turns, looking for the person calling his name. Jim inwardly groans and throws a fake smile on his face. ‘Gary? How are you?’
Gary laughs, his brown eyes flicking to Spock and then to where Jim’s hand is curled around Spock’s arm. ‘I’m good, yeah. I’ve been helping out of the colony here with their harvesting of crops. What about you though, man? Captain of the Enterprise, that’s a big deal.’
Jim nods gratefully. ‘Thanks. Oh, this is my husband, Spock,’ Jim says indicating the Vulcan next to him.
‘Married? Did not see that coming considering what you were like at the academy,’ Gary says, raising both of his eyebrows playfully and grinning. Jim tenses slightly. ‘You remember?’
‘That was a long time ago,’ Jim says nervously, feeling Spock’s anger slowly increase.
‘Not really, it was only a couple years ago, but I’m pleased for you. Nabbing yourself a Vulcan too, especially now they’re practically an endangered species and like collectibles. Shame about Vulcan, but you know, can’t save ‘em all.’
Jim squeezes Spock’s arm, halting his immediate instinct to lash out. ‘I do not appreciate the way in which you talk to Jim or refer to my species,’ Spock said, voice clipped.
‘I didn’t mean any offence,’ Gary says insincerely, putting his hands up in submission.
‘Then stop talking,’ Jim snaps, aware that Spock is feeling on edge. ‘Come on.’
They walk away, Spock’s face schooled into a blank mask as he attempts to keep his emotions from showing. They walk quickly out of the ballroom and outside in to the clear night air.
‘Come here,’ Jim says, wrapping his arms around Spock’s waist and allowing the Vulcan to reciprocate and to gain comfort from him. ‘He’s an asshole.’
‘It does not please me that you also had sexual relations with him,’ Spock mumbles against his neck.
‘A long time ago,’ Jim says, reaching up and stroking a finger over the point of Spock’s ear, knowing he enjoys it. ‘For the record, he has a really small penis.’
Spock raises his head and leans in to press his lips against Jim’s.
Jim smiles, feeling pleased that Spock no longer has any problems showing his vulnerability and his emotions in his presence. It had taken a while for Spock to finally accept that Jim wasn’t going to judge him if he showed his emotions in his presence, and that if he did, Jim would comfort him in a way his mother used to do.
‘Let’s go back in,’ Jim suggests, letting his thumb rub along Spock’s palm. ‘We can dance and you can publicly grope me. Everyone’s a winner.’
Spock almost smiles as he allows himself to be pulled back into the ballroom.
////////
Jim stares up at the yellow sky in fascination as he lies on a blanket in a small enclosed area surrounded by bright pink tall grass, his body naked and flushed as he puts his arm behind his head and reaches the other down to twine in Spock’s hair where he’s pressing kisses to Jim’s stomach fondly.
‘This place is amazing,’ Jim says in awe as species of bird flies over them that he’s never seen before. ‘Good choice for shore leave.’
‘Technically, this is our honeymoon,’ Spock comments before reaching down to swipe his tongue over Jim’s nipple.
Jim lets out a small chuckle. ‘You’re going to have to give me a second before I’m ready to go again.’
‘It is most inconvenient human refractory periods are significantly longer than Vulcans.’
‘Hey, I do my best,’ Jim says, pretending to be offended.
‘I cannot fault your sex drive,’ Spock remarks, dragging his nose up Jim’s chest and to his neck and kissing gently there. ‘Your stamina is also surprisingly high for a human.’
‘All I’m hearing are backhanded insults, Spock,’ Jim teases, feeling the warm heat of the planet’s atmosphere coat his skin as the long grass rustles from a light breeze.
‘If I thought you were anything less than perfect, I would not have bonded with you,’ Spock says, his voice emotional as he leans down to kiss Jim tentatively. ‘I am very much in love with you.’
‘You better be, I’m James Kirk, I’m fantastic,’ Jim grins. He gives out a playful yelp as Spock nips at his skin gently. Jim suddenly feels a finger prod his spent penis and he looks up to see an almost pout on Spock’s face as his dick fails to harden.
‘We’ve been going at it for the better half of the day, Spock. Give me a few more minutes and I’ll get it up.’
‘Very well,’ Spock says, grabbing Jim and rolling them to the side so he can reach Jim’s ass with his fingers.
Jim lets out a small laugh as the Vulcan’s hands grab onto his ass possessively, a finger running down in between his ass cheeks. ‘Promise me something.’
‘Anything,’ Spock murmurs softly.
‘If I’m ever a jerk, or if something happens, you’ll stick by me, however much you may not want to.’
Spock’s eyes suddenly become troubled. ‘Jim, under no circumstances will I leave you or give up on you.’
‘Even when I’m an asshole and do something you hate?’
‘Was is it you are planning to do?’ Spock asks, suspicious.
‘Nothing, but I tend to do stupid shit or get myself in life threatening situations became of my own recklessness and it might grate on you after a while, that’s all.’
‘It will not, even though I will spend the rest of our time on our ship attempting to protect you.’
‘Good,’ Jim says sincerely, leaning in to kiss Spock’s nose playfully. ‘I think I’m ready to go again.’
Jim is flat on his back, thigh’s open and legs in the air in seconds as Spock settles between them happily.
……..
Jim’s eye flutter open and he takes in a shuddering breath as his eyes adjust to the sickbay lights. Jim thinks it’s the oddest thing to remember not remembering something as his blinks a few times, trying to adjust.
‘Spock,’ he croaks out before coughing, his throat dry. Suddenly there’s a glass at his lips and he feels wonderfully cold water slide down his throat, and he swallows gratefully, smiling around the glass.
He slowly comes back to himself and his eyes look up to see Spock, eyes guarded but worried as he looks down at Jim. He pushes himself up and coughs throatily a few times before smiling at Spock, his head slightly groggy.
‘I feel like I’ve been asleep for weeks,’ Jim says before coughing again.
‘It has only been 22 hours and 3 minutes since the Fornac put you into sleep,’ Spock says, and Jim can hear the disapproval in his voice over the fact that some species they didn’t know had caused a minor coma in him. Jim actually worries for a moment that Spock did something to the peaceful civilisation knowing how protective he can be.
Jim takes in the almost frown etched on his husband’s features. ‘I’m OK, gorgeous,’ Jim says and Spock’s eyes widen, his hands grabbing at Jim’s frantically as he tries to find the mental link. Jim takes one of his hands off of Spock’s and let two fingers press to Spock’s in greeting.
Spock stares at the fingers in awe. ‘I love you,’ Spock murmurs.
‘Me too,’ Jim says with a relieved smile as Spock leans over him and presses his mouth to his in a long, deep kiss, Jim feeling his entire body react at the long lost sensation his body hadn’t realised it’d been missing. Jim groans in appreciation as Spock opens his mind and allows their thoughts and feelings to be exchanged. It’s a barrage of love and relief as Spock wraps his hand around Jim’s head and pushes their mouths even closer together as they continue to kiss deeply.
‘Not in my med bay,’ McCoy grumbles behind them as Spock sits back, looking irritated and clearly itching to get his hands on Jim as quickly as possible. ‘Welcome back. How you feeling?’ McCoy runs his tricorder over Jim a few times, seemingly pleased with the positive readouts.
‘Great,’ Jim says, his eyes fixed on Spock as he squeezes his hand with a smile. ‘Really, really great. I remember everything.’
McCoy looks between them before rolling his eyes. ‘Ok, you’re fine to go because I’d rather you do what you want to do in your own bed and not in my med bay.’
‘Thanks, Bones, I’ll let you know if I feel anything that I shouldn’t be feeing,’ Jim says, standing up with his hand still tightly clasped in Spock’s.
Jim can’t remember ever walking to their quarters this fast in his life. They try not to gain any unnecessary attention, but the fact they’re almost at a near jog causes a few crew members to throw them knowing looks. He’s sure by the time they come out of their quarters the crew will have all know he’s back to his normal self.
They get inside and it feels like when they first got together and they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Spock grabs at him and his hands immediately go around Jim’s body to grope his ass possessively as he releases a low growl and delves his tongue into Jim’s mouth.
‘Bed,’ Jim mumbles against Spock’s lips and jumps up to wrap his thighs tightly around Spock’s narrow hips as Spock’s hold him against him as he walks them over to the bed, their mouth’s pressed together in a fiery and impatient kiss.
‘I missed you,’ Spock groans, his hands spread wide over Jim’s ass cheeks as he holds him up and around his body.
‘I know, but I’m back now,’ Jim says softly as Spock gently lowers him to the bed. Jim grabs at his own clothes and gets them off as fast as he can, depositing them on the floor by the bed as Spock stands in front of him, taking off his clothes equally quickly.
Spock is on him in a beat, his hands everywhere at once as they grab at each other heatedly, Jim’s mouth moving and biting Spock’s. Spock grabs his legs roughly and pushes them up and out, almost bending him in half as he leans down to connect his mouth to Jim’s with a low moan, his hard cock rubbing against Jim’s ass teasingly.
Spock reaches for the lube and smears it over his cock liberally before pushing Jim’s legs up as far as they can go and leaning down to rub the head of his cock down the cleft of Jim’s ass before reaching his hole. He barely hesitates before pushing inside the tight ring of muscle, his eyes fluttering at the sensation. Jim fists the bed covers as Spock sinks in slowly, the feel familiar and wonderful and very much welcome.
‘T’hy’la,’ Spock growls as his pushes in fully and sinks his teeth into Jim’s collar.
‘Oh, yeah,’ Jim moans as Spock licks across the bite mark. He starts to thrust into Jim, his movements forceful and so deep Jim feels like his body is part of Spock’s. Spock’s slow and deep thrusts only last for a minute before he starts to pick up the pace, pushing in faster and faster, until he’s pounding into Jim as fast and as hard as he can.
Jim grips onto Spock’s back and moans loudly, Spock’s name coming out in shouts as he gets closer and closer to his climax. His whole body feels like one giant nerve ending as Spock’s cock slams into his prostate over and over again with an almost punishing frequency.
‘Oh my god,’ Jim groans so loudly he’s fairly sure the whole Enterprise can hear him, his head thrown back as Spock lets out an almost feral growl and releases deep within him, his thrusts continuing through his orgasm as his body trembles.
‘Spock,’ Jim whines, his own cock leaking against his stomach as Spock shifts off him hurriedly.
Before Jim can blink, Spock’s mouth wraps around his cock and sucks hard once, and Jim screams, his orgasm thundering through his body as he shoots into Spock’s mouth over and over again. Jim sighs, his body shaking as Spock lifts his mouth away.
‘Spock,’ Jim murmurs as Spock rests his head on Jim’s stomach, Jim’s hand carding through his hair. ‘Come back up here.’
Spock immediately moves next to him and leans in to kiss gently at Jim’s lips, like Jim’s a wonderful gift that he couldn’t be more thankful for. Jim’s fairly sure that if Spock were a 14 year old human he’d be writing crappy poetry for him right now.
‘I’m glad to be back,’ Jim says, warmth spreading through him as he feels his husband curl around him in a protective ball.
‘As am I.’
‘Can we stay in here forever?’ Jim whines as Spock kisses his face softly.
‘You are recovering from amnesia, I believe it would best for you to stay in bed for a long period of time,’ Spock says in between kisses.
‘You’re my husband, you know what’s best.’ Jim grins as Spock kisses his nose softly.
‘I do, please remember that for the future,’ Spock comments with a small smile, kissing Jim’s cheek affectionately.
They lie in comfortable, contented silence for a moment, both enjoying the after glow and basking in happiness at being together.
Jim turns to Spock. ‘You going to meld with me or not?’ Jim demands as he smiles.
Spock’s fingers latch on his face immediately, and Jim feels his mind entwine with Spock’s. His mind finally feels content and calm again.
END
Universe: XI
Rating: NC-17
Relationship status: established relationship
Word count: 5578 this part (16,600 overall)
Genre: angst
Trope: amnesia
Warning: Language, adult themes, trauma, graphic/explicit sex, fluff.
A/N: Last part. Let me know if you enjoy it because it makes me feel like the cookie monster being given cookies. :)
Summary: Jim wakes up believing it to be the day he walked onto the bridge as captain, about to leave Earth’s space dock (the end of XI). It’s actually two years since that day and he’s bonded and married to Spock.
Previous parts: Part One | Part Two
Blank Mind
Part Three
‘It appears,’ Pike starts, sitting forward and almost filling the whole screen, ‘that the USS Excelsior has discovered a species on a first contact mission which has the ability of memory retrieval and alteration. Whereas other species have limited ability, this species named ‘Fornac’ appear to be highly advanced in the memory cortex of the brain in several species. They have been reported as very hospitable and peaceful which bodes well if we want to ask them a favour.’
Jim swallows, looking across the table at Spock. Spock raises an eyebrow before slowly pushing himself up and walking around the table to stand by Jim.
‘Until we can assess them more fully, I am reluctant to leave Jim in their hands.’
Pike nods. ‘The Excelsior is doing as much research as they can and are constantly reporting back on this new civilisation. They appear to be friendly so I don’t think it long before things can be confirmed. However, I think it best to give you the coordinates so you can get on your way to this planet and by the time you get there, Starfleet officers will have validated and confirmed their abilities.’
Spock places a hand on Jim’s shoulder, and Jim doesn’t shift away from the contact as he feels a surge of warmth spreading throughout his body. He can see Pike fighting back a smile at the scene.
‘OK, page through the coordinates and we’ll get going.’
Pike nods and the screen goes black.
Spock sits opposite him immediately, taking one of Jim’s hands in his softly. ‘I have a number of reservations about allowing a civilisation which is largely unknown to retrieve your memories. The likelihood of possible brain damage makes me believe it would be better for you not to attempt it.’
Jim swallows, looking down to where his hand is surrounded by the strong Vulcan one. ‘Spock, you need me back. It’s not just want anymore, but you need your husband back, and I know I’m him and everything but at the same time I’m really not. We’ll keep analysing the reports we get sent from the Excelsior, and if everything seems OK, I’m going to try it.’
‘Jim, I-’
‘I know you’re worried, but I’ll be fine. We better go get that course laid in.’
Jim stands, his hand falling out of Spock’s grip, and leaves the office, aware of the worried Vulcan gaze watching him go.
…..
‘I agree with Spock,’ McCoy growls, standing up from behind his desk. ‘You can’t just let some random alien race run around in your brain. What if you come back thinking you’re 5 years old? What the hell will we do then?’
Jim sighs, expecting this reaction as he feels Spock’s approval at McCoy’s words seep into him from where he’s stood behind him. ‘I know, but this is my only hope right now.’
‘Time,’ McCoy snaps. ‘Just be patient and more things will come back.’
‘I’ve had only 3 flickers of memories come back in the last month, Bones. At this rate I’ll be in my 70’s before I remember everything.’
‘It’s still dangerous, Jim,’ McCoy argues. ‘As your CMO, I can’t support your decision to go down there.’
‘Look, we have a week before we arrive in the planet’s system and by that time, more research will come through and things will be fine. I really would rather do this with your support, Bones.’
‘Well, you don’t have it. It’s damn reckless. I’m surprised Spock’s letting you go through with it.’
‘I have expressed my objection to the situation, but Jim is determined.’
McCoy raises an eyebrow at Spock. ‘Object harder.’
‘Excuse me?’ Jim says, voice rising with annoyance. ‘Spock doesn’t control me, I can make the decision myself, thank you. ‘
‘Well, Jim, he’s your husband and you both make decisions together.’
Jim bites his lip to stop himself saying something hurtful, his anger boiling up. ‘This is my mind and if I look over the reports and am satisfied, then I’m going for it.’
‘It’s stupid,’ McCoy snaps.
Jim turns on him, eyes flashing. ‘May I remind you both than I’m the captain here and I outrank you both?’
Spock’s posture shifts ever so slightly and his hand flies up to stop McCoy from running his mouth off at Jim. ‘Jim, may I remind you that Doctor McCoy is your closest friend and I am your bondmate? If you respect rank, you must also respect personal relationship.’
‘At the end of the day, this is my decision and I’m done being talked down to by my crew because they assume I’m an incompetent captain that they hate being stuck with.’
Spock’s eyes harden. ‘If any crew members have been insubordinate to you, you should have reported them.’
Jim waves him off. ‘They’re not doing in a direct way; they seem annoyed that they have a captain who has no idea what the hell he’s doing. Again.’ Jim pauses, letting out a sigh. ‘I’m going to my quarters.’
‘I will accompany you,’ Spock states, hands clasped behind his back.
‘No, I need some time to think,’ Jim says as sternly as possible, knowing that if he doesn’t put his foot down, Spock will follow him.
‘Very well,’ Spock says, his feet planted on the ground.
….
The week goes by slowly with small bits of information coming through from the Excelsior. Jim knows there will be never be enough to reassure Spock who is becoming more and more agitated the closer they get to the planet. He doesn’t show it, but Jim can feel it when he’s sitting in his captain’s chair, Spock’s nervousness and worry wrapping itself around Jim. It isn’t helpful considering it makes his own reservations about what he might be doing ten times worse.
Jim feels helpless over the situation because even when Spock is comforting him, sparks of loss come through the bond, reminding Jim that he isn’t what Spock wants. That he’s not really the husband he needs and it makes Jim even more desperate. The reservations he has start to fade away slightly because it gets to the point where he realises that he has to try. He can’t keep trying to be a captain when every time he walks onto the bridge, he sees the hope in everyone’s eyes as they wonder if he woke up with his memories. Then he has to suffer through the sadness and disappointment when they realise he hasn’t.
By the time they arrive at the planet Jim is frustrated and desperate and ready to try anything. He strides down the corridor to the transporter room with purpose and determination. He knows McCoy is in sick bay and Spock is on the bridge so no one’s around to stop him beaming down straight away.
He walks into the transporter room, nodding at Scotty who looks uncomfortable that Jim is alone. Jim is about to get onto the pad when Spock strides in through the door, giving Jim a look like he didn’t really think he could beam down without him knowing about it.
‘You’re dismissed, commander,’ Jim tries.
Spock doesn’t move, his head cocked, and Jim feels a sudden pang of annoyance seep through. ‘Captain, I will be accompanying you.’
‘They’re a peaceful civilisation; I don’t need to be accompanied.’
‘Starfleet regulations state that-’
‘No, I’m the captain and I want to go alone, got it?’ Jim snaps, unable to keep his anger at bay after a week filled with passive aggressiveness and disapproval from his commanding staff. Scotty averts his eyes.
Spock’s eyes flutter ever so slightly as he nods slowly. Jim can feel the worry and rejection coming through and Jim feels his fingers curl into fists. ‘Stop letting your feelings through. It’s distracting.’
Jim sighs with relief when every emotion that isn’t his is ripped away. He goes onto the pad and nods at Scotty, avoiding Spock’s dark, concerned gaze.
Jim dematerialises and takes in the Fornac standing in front of him. There are four of them, all with human like bodies but with long thick blue tentacles protruding where arms should be. Their tentacles wiggle excitedly as they look at Jim, who is almost double their size.
‘I’m James Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise. Do you all speak standard?’
‘We do, captain,’ one of them says, his voice smooth and fluid. ‘Welcome to our humble planet.’
‘Thank you,’ Jim says with a smile. ‘I have been sent here-’
‘We have been informed by the other Starfleet personnel to expect you. I am pleased we able to provide assistance.’
Jim nods, feeling relieved that everything has already been explained.
‘We are ready for you now if you wish to get started,’ one of them say, their arm tentacles wiggling. Jim takes a breath and nods. ‘You must be open to the memories coming back, captain. You cannot be anxious or close your mind or it will make it worse.’
Jim nods awkwardly as he feels a tentacle wrap around his wrist and tug him toward a small, straw like hut. He looks back over his shoulder to the green grass field and finds it oddly like Earth.
‘Is it going to hurt?’ Jim asks nervously, as he walks into the hut and looks around, noticing a plain bed in one corner and nothing else.
One of the Fornac tilts its head. ‘Depends what you mean by hurt. Emotionally, I believe it will hurt greatly to realise what you have lost. Physically, there will be no pain.’
‘Ok,’ Jim says, wringing his hands anxiously. ‘Where do you want me?’
‘Lie on the bed, captain.’
‘Thanks,’ Jim says, as he awkwardly climbs onto the single bed and lies down. ‘Do you need to know any details? Like how long ago I lost my memory? How much of my memory has gone?’
‘All of that will be told by your mind, captain.’
‘Ok,’ Jim says lamely. He adjusts himself on the bed, everything happening so quickly that he can barely believe that he might get everything back, make his crew happy, and more importantly, make Spock happy.
He suddenly feels two slick, wet tentacles latch onto his face and Jim tries his hardest not to flinch away, the stickiness of the tentacle feeling unpleasant against his skin.
‘Open your mind,’ the Fornac behinds him says stoically. Jim tries hard, frees his mind as much as he can but nothing seems to happen. He’s still lying there, not being able to remember anything from the past two years and he wonders if he got all his hopes up for nothing.
‘You are having difficulty relaxing and opening, captain,’ the Fornac says calmly.
Jim snorts. ‘Had a guy say that to me once.’
The tentacles pull away from his face and Jim sits up, face apologetic, thinking he’s deeply offended them. ‘Sorry, that was really rude, ignore me.’
‘I am unaffected by your comment, captain. Your mind is simply not relaxed enough for me to enter in and retrieve your memories.’
Jim feels his heart pick up pace. ‘Try again, please?’ Jim tries, not really sure how he’s supposed to open his mind but he can at least try.
The Fornac regards him. ‘Do you have a friend or lover who could be with you to help you relax?’
Jim’s mind immediately goes to Spock who he knows is probably pacing around their room back on the Enterprise. It’s the logical choice, but right now, he’s closest to McCoy and knows him far better than Spock and maybe that would help.
‘Yeah, I’ll just use my communicator to bring them down.’
The Fornac nods and moves away as Jim flips open the communicator. ‘Kirk to Enterprise,’
‘Captain?’ he hears Scotty say.
‘Send Bones down, would you?’
‘Right away, captain.’
It’s only moments before he hears shuffling outside of the hut. The door swings open and Jim throws a smile on his face, but it quickly drops when Spock strides in, eyes intense and determined as they fix on Jim possessively.
‘I asked for Bones,’ Jim says calmly, aware several Fornacs are watching them with interest.
‘I have a mind link with you, it is better and safer for me to be with you.’
Jim nods, accepting it with a long, hard done by sigh because he really can’t be bothered to put up a fight. He lies back down on the bed and sees Spock settle on a chair next to him, his hand reaching out and entwining with Jim’s gently. Jim smiles.
The tentacles latch back onto his face and Jim feels Spock’s thumb rub circles on the back of his hand reassuringly and suddenly he’s gone, deep into his mind, and he is suddenly overwhelmed by sights, feelings and smells that he doesn’t recognize before his body shakes violently. And then his world goes dark and black.
…….
‘Am I drunk?’ Jim asks, swaying slightly as he leans against the bar on their latest shore leave.
McCoy eyes him. ‘Considering you just licked the bar, I’d say so.’
Jim looks down to where his drink had spilled out of the shot glass. ‘Whatever, you’re jealous you didn’t get a free shot for being pretty.’
‘So, so jealous,’ McCoy says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes.
‘Oh my god, Bones, look at this guy, he has like 6 purple tentacles,’ Jim says loudly, looking at the alien that’s just come to stand at the bar next to him.
The alien in question turns around with a slightly intrigued look considering Jim wasn’t at all quiet with his remark.
‘I am Steve,’ he says.
Jim’s mouth falls open and he can barely contain himself as he bursts into laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks as he jabs a thumb in his direction as he looks at Bones like the alien’s just told the funniest joke ever.
Jim turns to him, still laughing silently. ‘Steve? Isn’t that a bit human?’
‘My grandfather is human,’ Steve says, not looking at all offended as Jim gets his breath back.
‘That means your granddad had sex with one of you,’ Jim observes, giggling to himself at the thought. His face drops when he actually considers what tentacle sex would be like.
Steve looks him up and down. ‘Do you want to have sex with me?’
Jim’s eyes bulge, like he can’t believe his luck, and he turns to McCoy. ‘I’ve scored. See you later.’
Jim turns back to Steve, wrapping his arm around the purple spongy skin of Steve’s body. ‘So, I want you to show me all the things you can do with your tentacles.’
They start walking through the throng of people, many of the crew giving Jim an amused look, when suddenly Spock is in front of him, eyes hard and annoyed.
‘Spocky,’ Jim says with a large grin. ‘Steve here, has six tentacles. Isn’t that awesome?’
Spock raises an un-amused eyebrow and stares at the purple alien.
‘Hi there,’ Steve says awkwardly as Jim prods one of his tentacles with interest.
‘Oh, Spock here is my amazing first officer, even though he does spend most of his time giving me disapproving looks like he wants to sit me down and discipline me.’
‘Sounds kinky,’ Steve comments.
‘Oh, Spock’s not like that. Vulcan’s are seriously repressed. To be honest with you, I’m not even sure he’d know where to shove his dick if he got with a guy.’
‘Jim,’ Spock snaps, getting his drunken attention. ‘You must come with me on a matter of severe urgency.’
‘But Spock,’ Jim whines, like a child having its toy taken away. ‘Imagine what Steve can do with six tentacles.’
Spock continues glaring, his gaze becoming even harder as he looks at Steve, eyebrow raised dangerously as his eyes flick down to where one of Steve’s tentacles is wrapped around Jim’s waist.
Jim slumps. ‘Fine, fine. I’ll see you later Steve.’ One of the tentacles comes up to wave.
As Jim is tucked into bed a bit later, Spock wrapping his cover around his body snugly, Jim vaguely wonders what the urgent business was, and then realises that Spock is a big fat liar.
//////
‘Pike,’ Jim says as the admiral appears on screen.
‘Jim, what do I owe this pleasure?’
‘Well, I just thought I’d let you know that the last away mission was a real success. I don’t remember much of it considering I was a llama, but I hear the peace talks went really well and they’ve come to a diplomatic agreement which works well for them and of course, for us.’
‘A llama?’ Pike asks, eyes wide.
‘A telepathic llama,’ Jim says, waggling his eyebrows. ‘It was awesome. Some of the crew took pictures to show me because I was a really pretty llama. I’m back to normal now though.’
‘Uh huh,’ Pike says in slight shock, his fingers touching his lips thoughtfully. ‘You wanna speak to me about anything else or was the reason you contacted me because you wanted to brag about being a telepathic llama?’
Jim grins. ‘I’ll have you know llamas are wonderful, caring creatures, and anyway, the other thing is that Spock and I are sleeping together. On a regular basis. Like all the time. Except when I get turned into animals though, because that’s wrong. I don’t know if you have to put that somewhere in our files but-’
Pike puts his hand up. ‘Stop right there. Are you joking?’
Jim shakes his head. ‘To be honest with you, I thought the llama story would soften the blow slightly, make it seem less shocking in comparison.’
Pike just stares at him. ‘Since when have you and Spock been… you know?’
‘About a month ago Spock suggested we have sexual intercourse. I don’t have the will power to turn down an offer like that so we did it, and then we did it again, and then it became a thing.’
‘Jim,’ Pike says, sounding tired. ‘If you two are sleeping together, we don’t need to put into any paper work and I’ll pretend you never told me. However, if you’re something more…’
Jim smiles a giddy, happy smile. ‘We are.’
Pike lets out an exhausted sigh. ‘I’ll forward you the documents you and Spock need to fill out.’
‘Thanks,’ Jim says sincerely.
‘For the record, Jim, I’m happy for you. On behalf of Starfleet though, couldn’t you have gotten together with someone who wasn’t your first officer?’
‘I would, but Vulcans are really good in bed,’ Jim says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Really. Good.’
Pike smiles, the skin by his eyes crinkling slightly. ‘Be careful, kid.’
‘I always am,’ Jim grins as he cuts off the transmission.
////////
Jim holds onto Spock’s arm as they walk into the large ballroom, couples of various species walking around them. It’s an annual ball that’s held on different planets every year and Starfleet have to attend in some form.
‘So you’re saying the King has twelve identical husbands?’ Jim asks as they walk through some people and over to the side.
‘The King chooses a mate who is then cloned,’ Spock says.
‘That is amazing. I mean, he has the dream. God, twelve of you…’ Jim says dreamily as his eyes lose focus.
‘Jim,’ Spock says, causing Jim to come back to himself.
‘Sorry, I was thinking about a kind of tag team situation,’ Jim says as a small red flush appears on his cheeks.
‘I doubt you could handle twelve of me,’ Spock comments casually.
Jim snorts. ‘Next time we’re on a planet we public cloning facilities, I can show you just how much I could handle twelve of you,’ Jim says darkly, letting his hand run up Spock’s thigh.
‘Jim? Jim Kirk?’ Jim turns, looking for the person calling his name. Jim inwardly groans and throws a fake smile on his face. ‘Gary? How are you?’
Gary laughs, his brown eyes flicking to Spock and then to where Jim’s hand is curled around Spock’s arm. ‘I’m good, yeah. I’ve been helping out of the colony here with their harvesting of crops. What about you though, man? Captain of the Enterprise, that’s a big deal.’
Jim nods gratefully. ‘Thanks. Oh, this is my husband, Spock,’ Jim says indicating the Vulcan next to him.
‘Married? Did not see that coming considering what you were like at the academy,’ Gary says, raising both of his eyebrows playfully and grinning. Jim tenses slightly. ‘You remember?’
‘That was a long time ago,’ Jim says nervously, feeling Spock’s anger slowly increase.
‘Not really, it was only a couple years ago, but I’m pleased for you. Nabbing yourself a Vulcan too, especially now they’re practically an endangered species and like collectibles. Shame about Vulcan, but you know, can’t save ‘em all.’
Jim squeezes Spock’s arm, halting his immediate instinct to lash out. ‘I do not appreciate the way in which you talk to Jim or refer to my species,’ Spock said, voice clipped.
‘I didn’t mean any offence,’ Gary says insincerely, putting his hands up in submission.
‘Then stop talking,’ Jim snaps, aware that Spock is feeling on edge. ‘Come on.’
They walk away, Spock’s face schooled into a blank mask as he attempts to keep his emotions from showing. They walk quickly out of the ballroom and outside in to the clear night air.
‘Come here,’ Jim says, wrapping his arms around Spock’s waist and allowing the Vulcan to reciprocate and to gain comfort from him. ‘He’s an asshole.’
‘It does not please me that you also had sexual relations with him,’ Spock mumbles against his neck.
‘A long time ago,’ Jim says, reaching up and stroking a finger over the point of Spock’s ear, knowing he enjoys it. ‘For the record, he has a really small penis.’
Spock raises his head and leans in to press his lips against Jim’s.
Jim smiles, feeling pleased that Spock no longer has any problems showing his vulnerability and his emotions in his presence. It had taken a while for Spock to finally accept that Jim wasn’t going to judge him if he showed his emotions in his presence, and that if he did, Jim would comfort him in a way his mother used to do.
‘Let’s go back in,’ Jim suggests, letting his thumb rub along Spock’s palm. ‘We can dance and you can publicly grope me. Everyone’s a winner.’
Spock almost smiles as he allows himself to be pulled back into the ballroom.
////////
Jim stares up at the yellow sky in fascination as he lies on a blanket in a small enclosed area surrounded by bright pink tall grass, his body naked and flushed as he puts his arm behind his head and reaches the other down to twine in Spock’s hair where he’s pressing kisses to Jim’s stomach fondly.
‘This place is amazing,’ Jim says in awe as species of bird flies over them that he’s never seen before. ‘Good choice for shore leave.’
‘Technically, this is our honeymoon,’ Spock comments before reaching down to swipe his tongue over Jim’s nipple.
Jim lets out a small chuckle. ‘You’re going to have to give me a second before I’m ready to go again.’
‘It is most inconvenient human refractory periods are significantly longer than Vulcans.’
‘Hey, I do my best,’ Jim says, pretending to be offended.
‘I cannot fault your sex drive,’ Spock remarks, dragging his nose up Jim’s chest and to his neck and kissing gently there. ‘Your stamina is also surprisingly high for a human.’
‘All I’m hearing are backhanded insults, Spock,’ Jim teases, feeling the warm heat of the planet’s atmosphere coat his skin as the long grass rustles from a light breeze.
‘If I thought you were anything less than perfect, I would not have bonded with you,’ Spock says, his voice emotional as he leans down to kiss Jim tentatively. ‘I am very much in love with you.’
‘You better be, I’m James Kirk, I’m fantastic,’ Jim grins. He gives out a playful yelp as Spock nips at his skin gently. Jim suddenly feels a finger prod his spent penis and he looks up to see an almost pout on Spock’s face as his dick fails to harden.
‘We’ve been going at it for the better half of the day, Spock. Give me a few more minutes and I’ll get it up.’
‘Very well,’ Spock says, grabbing Jim and rolling them to the side so he can reach Jim’s ass with his fingers.
Jim lets out a small laugh as the Vulcan’s hands grab onto his ass possessively, a finger running down in between his ass cheeks. ‘Promise me something.’
‘Anything,’ Spock murmurs softly.
‘If I’m ever a jerk, or if something happens, you’ll stick by me, however much you may not want to.’
Spock’s eyes suddenly become troubled. ‘Jim, under no circumstances will I leave you or give up on you.’
‘Even when I’m an asshole and do something you hate?’
‘Was is it you are planning to do?’ Spock asks, suspicious.
‘Nothing, but I tend to do stupid shit or get myself in life threatening situations became of my own recklessness and it might grate on you after a while, that’s all.’
‘It will not, even though I will spend the rest of our time on our ship attempting to protect you.’
‘Good,’ Jim says sincerely, leaning in to kiss Spock’s nose playfully. ‘I think I’m ready to go again.’
Jim is flat on his back, thigh’s open and legs in the air in seconds as Spock settles between them happily.
……..
Jim’s eye flutter open and he takes in a shuddering breath as his eyes adjust to the sickbay lights. Jim thinks it’s the oddest thing to remember not remembering something as his blinks a few times, trying to adjust.
‘Spock,’ he croaks out before coughing, his throat dry. Suddenly there’s a glass at his lips and he feels wonderfully cold water slide down his throat, and he swallows gratefully, smiling around the glass.
He slowly comes back to himself and his eyes look up to see Spock, eyes guarded but worried as he looks down at Jim. He pushes himself up and coughs throatily a few times before smiling at Spock, his head slightly groggy.
‘I feel like I’ve been asleep for weeks,’ Jim says before coughing again.
‘It has only been 22 hours and 3 minutes since the Fornac put you into sleep,’ Spock says, and Jim can hear the disapproval in his voice over the fact that some species they didn’t know had caused a minor coma in him. Jim actually worries for a moment that Spock did something to the peaceful civilisation knowing how protective he can be.
Jim takes in the almost frown etched on his husband’s features. ‘I’m OK, gorgeous,’ Jim says and Spock’s eyes widen, his hands grabbing at Jim’s frantically as he tries to find the mental link. Jim takes one of his hands off of Spock’s and let two fingers press to Spock’s in greeting.
Spock stares at the fingers in awe. ‘I love you,’ Spock murmurs.
‘Me too,’ Jim says with a relieved smile as Spock leans over him and presses his mouth to his in a long, deep kiss, Jim feeling his entire body react at the long lost sensation his body hadn’t realised it’d been missing. Jim groans in appreciation as Spock opens his mind and allows their thoughts and feelings to be exchanged. It’s a barrage of love and relief as Spock wraps his hand around Jim’s head and pushes their mouths even closer together as they continue to kiss deeply.
‘Not in my med bay,’ McCoy grumbles behind them as Spock sits back, looking irritated and clearly itching to get his hands on Jim as quickly as possible. ‘Welcome back. How you feeling?’ McCoy runs his tricorder over Jim a few times, seemingly pleased with the positive readouts.
‘Great,’ Jim says, his eyes fixed on Spock as he squeezes his hand with a smile. ‘Really, really great. I remember everything.’
McCoy looks between them before rolling his eyes. ‘Ok, you’re fine to go because I’d rather you do what you want to do in your own bed and not in my med bay.’
‘Thanks, Bones, I’ll let you know if I feel anything that I shouldn’t be feeing,’ Jim says, standing up with his hand still tightly clasped in Spock’s.
Jim can’t remember ever walking to their quarters this fast in his life. They try not to gain any unnecessary attention, but the fact they’re almost at a near jog causes a few crew members to throw them knowing looks. He’s sure by the time they come out of their quarters the crew will have all know he’s back to his normal self.
They get inside and it feels like when they first got together and they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Spock grabs at him and his hands immediately go around Jim’s body to grope his ass possessively as he releases a low growl and delves his tongue into Jim’s mouth.
‘Bed,’ Jim mumbles against Spock’s lips and jumps up to wrap his thighs tightly around Spock’s narrow hips as Spock’s hold him against him as he walks them over to the bed, their mouth’s pressed together in a fiery and impatient kiss.
‘I missed you,’ Spock groans, his hands spread wide over Jim’s ass cheeks as he holds him up and around his body.
‘I know, but I’m back now,’ Jim says softly as Spock gently lowers him to the bed. Jim grabs at his own clothes and gets them off as fast as he can, depositing them on the floor by the bed as Spock stands in front of him, taking off his clothes equally quickly.
Spock is on him in a beat, his hands everywhere at once as they grab at each other heatedly, Jim’s mouth moving and biting Spock’s. Spock grabs his legs roughly and pushes them up and out, almost bending him in half as he leans down to connect his mouth to Jim’s with a low moan, his hard cock rubbing against Jim’s ass teasingly.
Spock reaches for the lube and smears it over his cock liberally before pushing Jim’s legs up as far as they can go and leaning down to rub the head of his cock down the cleft of Jim’s ass before reaching his hole. He barely hesitates before pushing inside the tight ring of muscle, his eyes fluttering at the sensation. Jim fists the bed covers as Spock sinks in slowly, the feel familiar and wonderful and very much welcome.
‘T’hy’la,’ Spock growls as his pushes in fully and sinks his teeth into Jim’s collar.
‘Oh, yeah,’ Jim moans as Spock licks across the bite mark. He starts to thrust into Jim, his movements forceful and so deep Jim feels like his body is part of Spock’s. Spock’s slow and deep thrusts only last for a minute before he starts to pick up the pace, pushing in faster and faster, until he’s pounding into Jim as fast and as hard as he can.
Jim grips onto Spock’s back and moans loudly, Spock’s name coming out in shouts as he gets closer and closer to his climax. His whole body feels like one giant nerve ending as Spock’s cock slams into his prostate over and over again with an almost punishing frequency.
‘Oh my god,’ Jim groans so loudly he’s fairly sure the whole Enterprise can hear him, his head thrown back as Spock lets out an almost feral growl and releases deep within him, his thrusts continuing through his orgasm as his body trembles.
‘Spock,’ Jim whines, his own cock leaking against his stomach as Spock shifts off him hurriedly.
Before Jim can blink, Spock’s mouth wraps around his cock and sucks hard once, and Jim screams, his orgasm thundering through his body as he shoots into Spock’s mouth over and over again. Jim sighs, his body shaking as Spock lifts his mouth away.
‘Spock,’ Jim murmurs as Spock rests his head on Jim’s stomach, Jim’s hand carding through his hair. ‘Come back up here.’
Spock immediately moves next to him and leans in to kiss gently at Jim’s lips, like Jim’s a wonderful gift that he couldn’t be more thankful for. Jim’s fairly sure that if Spock were a 14 year old human he’d be writing crappy poetry for him right now.
‘I’m glad to be back,’ Jim says, warmth spreading through him as he feels his husband curl around him in a protective ball.
‘As am I.’
‘Can we stay in here forever?’ Jim whines as Spock kisses his face softly.
‘You are recovering from amnesia, I believe it would best for you to stay in bed for a long period of time,’ Spock says in between kisses.
‘You’re my husband, you know what’s best.’ Jim grins as Spock kisses his nose softly.
‘I do, please remember that for the future,’ Spock comments with a small smile, kissing Jim’s cheek affectionately.
They lie in comfortable, contented silence for a moment, both enjoying the after glow and basking in happiness at being together.
Jim turns to Spock. ‘You going to meld with me or not?’ Jim demands as he smiles.
Spock’s fingers latch on his face immediately, and Jim feels his mind entwine with Spock’s. His mind finally feels content and calm again.
END