Comments | deranged_gofer: (без темы)

deranged_gofer

(Untitled)

Feb 20, 2005 21:27

So, my bratwurst delivery arrived in the post last Friday. I was only able to cook the damn things today along with delicious sauerkraut and, uhh...

Does anyone know a spell that will get rid of this godawful taste? I'd try pouring some old-fashioned bleach down my throat, but I'm afraid it would ruin my insides ( Read more... )

Comments 12

deranged_gofer February 20 2005, 19:57:16 UTC

Come now, George. Don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic? I didn't think bratwurst could be that horrible. Besides, you were the one spouting off about how wonderful everything German is. Maybe the bratwurst was damaged in transit. Or, more likely, you've finally come to your senses. Either way, it's probably for the best. I always knew nothing good would come from this little obsession of yours.
On the upside, I'm sure it can't taste as bad as those trial versions of the Canary Creams.
Have you tried Scourgify? It might not be so pleasant but it could be effective.

deranged_gofer February 20 2005, 20:05:59 UTC

Imagine three centuries old vomit in your mouth, multiply the awfulness with 10,000 and you're still.not.even.close.

I can't dislike Germans, I just feel sorry for them now!

Uhm, what are Canary Creams?

Magic is no use! I'm considering licking a toad.

deranged_gofer February 20 2005, 20:17:18 UTC

That does sound pretty horrific. But, then, maybe that's why they drink so much beer. To wash out the taste. Perhaps you could drown the taste in large quantities of alcohol?

Hmm... I have some tester products that will turn your tongue blue and yellow, but somehow I don't think that's quite what you're looking for.

Ah, that's right. You don't remember about the wonders of our pranks. We should talk. Soon. You have much to learn, young grasshopper.

I've seen a toad or two around here. But I really don't see how that would help matters. Also, it's not exactly helpful to the family reputation to have one brother trying to bugger the giant squid and another wanting to swap saliva with an amphibian.

deranged_gofer February 20 2005, 20:21:53 UTC

I would lick its neck, not its mouth! Though I do know what you mean about Ron. Luckily the squid is a virtuous thing and keeps its ..tentacles together.

I can't get drunk. I have responsibilities towards a certain something. But yes, we ought to talk sometime. You ..cricket.

Thread 7

dracoisyourking February 21 2005, 02:51:53 UTC

....

paparazzi_colin February 21 2005, 04:46:10 UTC

I think Malfoy must have a broken keyboard!!!

dracoisyourking February 21 2005, 05:14:51 UTC

May pickled fruit flies nest in your armpit hair.

paparazzi_colin February 21 2005, 05:21:23 UTC

Dude.
That is not cool.

stolen_marbles February 22 2005, 13:59:08 UTC

Something to cuddle, Fred?

Also, I have some Fizzing Whizzbees, if you want.