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[deranged_gofer]

Excellent. Have just finished my essay for Advanced Killing of Fuzzy Things. The topic was particularly trying: How best to go about bludgeoning a baby deer, or, for variety, a rabbit. I think I must have gotten carried away. (There are just so many possibilities!) Luckily George helped to point me in the right direction. His concluding paragraph

Comments

[waitingfortom]

Educated Answer: Of course it matters! I will explain, identical beings.

Additional blows to the head can further tenderise the brain. Depending on your preferences in brain texture, you might select three over two. There's a possibility of some squishy parts. Do take care depending on how intact you prefer your meal.

Further blows also run the risk of skull fragments getting into the brain. Take care if you don't like a crunchy feel.

Conclusion: As taste is a matter of preference, you will have to determine for yourself what you prefer and act accordingly. It absolutely matters.

[deranged_gofer]

Well, I don't think either of us had actually planned on eating the brains of the deer... especially since, after bludgeoning them in the head, it would be difficult to avoid the, er, "crunchy bits", as you termed them... And besides, brains just don't seem like they'd be all that pleasant.

But your input has been very helpful and I would like to, with your permission, quote you in the appendix to this essay!

[waitingfortom]

Statement: Brains are extremely pleasant, but perhaps you do not love as I do. I do find it easier to eat them if the skull hasn't been bludgeoned. Strangulation, for instance, is effective.

Pleased Permissive Statement: Acknowledge me as GK-47 and I will be quite satisfied. You appear dedicated to this institution and I hope my master, as you are putting so much effort into this lesson.

[slytherinthingy]

I can't say for sure, but I do know a bit about blows to the head!!! If you want to eat the head, I don't recommend beating it too much or else it may make things really juicy and mucked. Not something you want to put in your mouth!

If you have a nice hard and heavy bat, and a really great stroke, I think it could be done with two hard blows at the most. I don't recommend blows to other extremities. It may just harm them and not kill them. And what you want is a swift kill.

Of course, if you are just letting out frustration, like I often do, I would suggest muggles. They are resiliant and you can hit them loads of times before they are truly done for.

[deranged_gofer]

Blaise, I get the feeling you aren't really relating this to the killing of fuzzy things at all. You're talking about blows to the head of, er, not fuzzy things.

Are you tense? Do you need a back rub? George tells me that I give great back rubs.

[slytherinthingy]

George, I think I am relating to it just fine!!! What makes you say that/?? I AM talking about blows to the heads of fuzzy things!! Deer, yes?? Deer can be eaten! Just don't mess up their brains, like the Very Dedicated, No-Longer-Living Servant of The Dark Lord said up above.

Yes I do believe I am tense right now. I am tense all the time, but the bat helps me to relax sometimes.

Back rubs are nice.

[deranged_gofer]

Fred, Blaise. This is Fred. How are we supposed to be betrothed when you can't even tell me and George apart?

It is good that you have the bat as an outlet, but really, it isn't a good way to solve all of your problems, you know.

Would you like a back rub, Blaise? I can come find you... Where are you?

[veryverysmart]

nerd

[waitingfortom]

Insult: Mudblood.

[savethefurries]

Isn't that class great?!

Three blows to the head is clearly better, as long as the meat is being tenderized and not bruised.

[deranged_gofer]

How can you tell if the blows are bruising and not merely tenderising?

Perhaps we should organise a special meeting of the Culinary Club to address this point as it is still quite confusing to me!

[savethefurries]

All right, and I'll round up some samples.

[herbology_dork]

i wish we didn't have to kill things. it bothers me.