At a craft fair when I was five, I cried until my parents bought the porcelain face of a tiger tied in back with a black string. The mask was too heavy for my ugly duckling neck, I couldn't put it on by myself. Because my parents said it was too fragile for me to even hold, I sat there on the mowed lawn between countless tacky pavilion tents ( Read more... )

There is a peculiar type of incident that I have experienced numerous times in my life, though not much as of late. It generally occurred during the wastelands of summer, in those years when I was old enough to be at home, taking care of myself without supervision, but when I was still too young to have means to extricate myself from an empty home ( Read more... )

The Last Four Months (In Under __ Words)

Lost a friend. Worked some more. Hated it. Saved some money. Quit my job. Spent some money. Hung out. Drove to Denver with Zak. Saw Keegan. Stayed for two weeks. Came back. Got a girl. Kept her (so far). Hung out some more. Looked for a new job. Didn’t find one. Ran out of money. Came back to the internet.

( Read more... )

I am the Lizard King I can do anything.


( Read more... )

It's morning, the first day of the new year. It's light outside even though the rising sun is covered by clouds. I am not just awake, I am still awake. The night was long, but now I think it may be over. I learned some things about some people tonight, one of whom was myself. I learned that I am weak in the face of a certain type of trial. I know ( Read more... )

Now I think I know why people like Radiohead: they perfectly soundtrack the office terrain. They are fairly unimpressive and dull, but somehow manage also to be catchy. Imminently hummable and groanable; and even if you can't really understand all the lyrics, that doesn't matter too much because the lyrics are just there to make you hum, make you ( Read more... )

Driving home from work just now, after a pretty damn good day filled with cash-moneys, cute flirty bank tellers, and fulfilling sandwiches, I got cut off by a woman in a gold Saturn with a "Who is John Galt?" bumper-sticker, who then made it through the yellow light right in front of me. That's sure appropriate, I thought. Directly followed by: has ( Read more... )

"...Teach me mortality, frighten me
into the present. Help me to find
the heft of these days. That the nights
will be full enough and my heart feral."
-Jack Gilbert, I Imagine the Gods
K ( Read more... )

I'm still riding an emotional high right now, so I'm going to make this post short and sweet:

I went to a karaoke bar tonight and -- without a drop of liquor in me -- did a rendition of James Brown's "Sex Machine" that had everyone on their feet and dancing. I don't know if I want to wake up tomorrow; nothing could be as cool.

• Nice tie...$50
• Camel-hair blazer (not pictured)...$250
• Fair tickets...$8
• Decent cigar...$10
• Cheap scotch in a plastic cup (tip included)...$6