we held on too long, too hard
our fingers bled
bones broke

( and the center got swallowed whole )

i love the rain.

with her gone, it's my only solace.
i take what i can get.

the paintings are done and unsatisfactory. as is my life ( Read more... )

painting. and am covered in paint ( Read more... )

end of 2005.  what did i do ( Read more... )

last night i realized too much i don't remember ( Read more... )

noise ( Read more... )

head in hands, fingers in hair, eyes at the wall, words starting to fall out of my mind and onto the floor ( Read more... )

i feel sick and malcontent.

right now i'm having trouble convincing myself that life isn't a joke.  and i feel like a bad person because of it. 
i'm the punchline.

now laugh.

my fucking life is perfect.  so what the hell is wrong with me?
i should be happy, by everyone else's standards.
but really i just want to be alone.

i guess it still holds true ( Read more... )