I suppose I need to know how to tell people to fuck off. I really need to give a hard "no" every once in awhile. A friend in need is often dogging for needs to be met, and I'm not always willing to comply, no matter your condition.

Things seem a bit off lately. I'm having new and interesting experiences, doing things I'd usually shy away from, and yet I feel like I'm not really there for most of them. I have to work hard to be in the moment. My mind still runs like a race horse, so I'm analyzing everything ( Read more... )

Feel like shit today. Felt that way all day. Something going on for me, I'm starting to question where this is going. I've really been alone this week. As much as a part of me wants to pick up the phone and call someone, I can't seem to bring myself to do it.

My mind is in dark places today, and the light is too dim to matter.

Such an amazing realization. These past few months have been pretty interesting. I suspect the next few will follow suit ( Read more... )

With all these people around, I still feel alone. Not sure what this feeling is lately. I can't shake it. I feel like something bad is about to happen, it's been in the pit of my stomach all week ( Read more... )

A long time ago. When I thought to myself "this time I'm changing for the better...this time I'm going to be the man I always should have been ( Read more... )

The need to be loved is covered with a difficulty in letting people love me ( Read more... )

Somehow I feel as though I've lost track of things. I'm out of tune with the world. maybe I'm disconnecting, maybe not. I know I've left a void between myself and a few people, but the space is mutual.

Sometimes I feel like I'm bleeding inside, then I realize it's all in my head.

An empty touch from a bloody hand, unclean with the filth of your inadequacies.

I feel alone today.

Had a chat with a friend yesterday evening. The topic of religion came up, and she shared her ideas of Christianity and the bible, and I spoke of my "awakening" when I was 18, and the years that preceded and followed. It seemed she couldn't get off the idea of selling me on the "having faith" bit, and seemed as though she was trying to convince ( Read more... )