I'm returning to this thing when my instincts would usually tell me to burn it to the ground, or at the very least never look at it again.  There is pain here.  Ghosts.  The sting of loss and regret, laid out so fresh and clear across the screen.  In my own words, and those are delicate and specific cutting instruments.

I've been the architect of ( Read more... )

i've never had this feeling, so long into a thing......where i keep returning to that thought:  goddamn. how did i get so lucky?

i had lost all my personal power two winters ago.
it's not just about her, though.   i've put a lot of work into this.  this life.  and more and more, each day, i feel sure that it's good again.  and getting better.

Taking a spin down the main drag in San Mateo recently has proven to be a sobering illumination on how bad things are right now ( Read more... )

SEMESTER ONE of Grad School in the can ( Read more... )

I don't believe that I've ever been more proud to be an American.
This, after eight years, each one seemingly worse than the last.........each one deepened the shame I felt that the country I came from was disgracing itself, and disgracing the world.

My face has been a teary wet mess for the last 12 hours.  I barely slept, because my dreams did not ( Read more... )

Grad school is hell ( Read more... )

 beautiful friends, Paul and Dex were married yesterday in a small chapel in the Castro.  as i was watching them take the most adorable wedding vows of all time.....i realized i had a front row seat of some real, bonafide history in the making.  this was something special...and that sentiment permeated throughout the chapel....you could tell in the ( Read more... )

i am  so, so emo.  i need to sue someone.

i can  have compassion, yet not pity.
i have an ear and an arm to lend, but i'm not getting dragged in.

might be working in berkeley for the next month, while staying in the International House.
could be an interesting experience.
then it's time to hit the road....

...then school, work and the end of free time.

 it's a good afternoon ( Read more... )