Today sucked.

But I did it to myself.

Doesn’t suck any less.

The truth is that I am one stiff wind away from drowning. The only reason I haven’t completely combusted is because I’m stubborn. But stubbornness is feeble. It can’t hold out. It’s like I’m on a ledge gripping with my fingers everyone in the theater knows I’m going to drop.

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I usually only write here when I’m at my worst.

Nothing’s changed.

I’ve never been so unhappy. The only time I’m content is when I am high or when I’m so lost in my work I don’t know up from down.

I want to quit it all so freaking bad.

But I know that if I quit now, I’ll quit forever. I’ll quit everything, always.

If I were to write a suicide note it would say:

Thanks, but no thanks.

She cheated

I'm just so a very all the time now. I'm not trying to achieve dreams I'm just trying to escape this loop or cage or madness I'm in

Just before the toss reaches its peak, anything is possible. In that moment, the moment when all outcomes are equally likely, every witness holds their breath anticipating the first of many battles to come. My job is to fill the hearts and minds of young women with enough knowledge and confidence so that in that moment, they believe wholeheartedly ( Read more... )

I am...

Straight
Bent
Young
Old
..... lusting

Ugh.... Here is what I want:
To win the lottery
A woman that cooks AND CLEANS
To runaway or play video games all day
Some really good food
To be alone and not do anything for 3-4 days