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Ben's had successfully swept me off my feet again, about a month ago. He ahs been so sweet and nice to me that when I found him looking at teeny pron and underage girls myspace pages, I confronted him. (its not like these are the only sites he looks at like this, trust me its not, its just that if I confronted him every time I found a pron site on ( Read more... ) -
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So so sad. they took victor off the breathing machine this morning. he had been in a coma afew days now. I just can't believe wednesday he was here cracking jokes with me about ben, but by thursday afternoon, he was in the hospital dying, from a fuckin stroke. geez. 33 years old and a stroke fuckin gets him. He knew he was having a stroke and it ( Read more... ) -
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hmmm. im so nervous. i just sent an email to someone and ohgod its just geez, i haven't even looked at another guy in so long its, so wierd. I mean i know its wrong, but i dont know if i care or not. i mean all the things he's done just to hurt me and look at me all guilty over a fuckin email. no, i think i did the right thng. maybe this is the way ( Read more... ) -
wheres the kid with the chemicals, i thought he said to meet him here, but I'm not sure?
I told linz last saturday that he was gunna sleep thru mother's day and forget about me until an hour before work. That night i was sad about it and i told him, because he asked what the problem was... he swore up and down left and right he was gunna prove me wrong. It was gunna be MY day and by God he was gunna let me have one day, blah , blah... ( Read more... ) -
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So many things I had planned on writing but none of which seem to make much sense now that i sit ready to put it out there. I have wondered for a while how did i get here to this point in my life. Seemingly happy, but so so so not on the inside. I wish every day things were different. I have a beautiful daughter and a man by my side. I should be ( Read more... ) -
Its been a long cold road back to this cozy place
I. HAVE. RETURNED. Long story short, myspace has felt crowded since i got ben an account. plus i like having my own place he knows nothing about. My favorite secret.
god there is so much here that he would love for me to forget. but i wont. ever. cause its just so damn heartwarming. This journal has the only memories of my happiness. of when i ( Read more... ) -
well well well said the spider to the fly
FUCK LJ, CAN NEVER GET IT TO WORK RIGHT!!!!! HMPF. BUT I GOT A XANGA KOURNAL THING ITS MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER AND INTERESTING, JUST HIT MY WEBSITE LINK OR IM ME FOR IT. DUNNO WHEN ILL BE THRU HERE AGAIN, BUT I SUPPOSE WHEN IT WASNT FRUSTRATING AS HELL IT WAS OK LJ!!!!!!! -
jesus days
hmmm i hate em. and i aint got much else to say except i hate my life. too fuckin boring -
awww
blah blah blah is all i ever hear... wish people would stop tryin to blow smoke up my ass... need somethin dunno yet but will get back to ya on it. -
AHHH
new xanga thingy got me goin crazy... hmmm. oh well. i had a long afternoon and evening at work, im kinda tired but wanna enjoy bein drunk before i pass out. i dunno how well i'll enjoy it here, but heh, worth a shot. the only reason why arkasuck is cool is b/c of the stores takin my fake id. hmmm. shoulda tried it back home. maybe i woulda never ( Read more... )