i hate mysefl. ii wish i was different i wish iw as pretty i wish i wasnt sad allt he time i wish i had a boyfirend i wish i was nicer. i waish i was better i wish i didnt fuck up i wish i wasnt a bad person i wish i was nicer to my parents. im so fuckng loneky. i wish i had someone. someone who actually careds right now i have no one. i feel like ( Read more... )

ium drunk and im so sad. so i go to this party abd thi s guy is liek you lok like a furby. i didnt sya one word t hi and hten steoh said i wa s hott nd he laughed right in my face, it as so fucked up i didnt say anythin g to him at all. this breaks my fucking hgeart, i know im ugly i know im disgusting im so sorry, i wish i could be pretty. ui ( Read more... )

hahaha i just read the funniest thing ever. it had nothing to do with me once so ever but for somereason it really had me cracking up. ok so what happens is. i was reading someones myspace and i saw her and this kid fighting and omg it was so funny hahahhaa. i guess no one would understand. ANYWAY ( Read more... )

so yeah ive been pretty good lately. ive been happy. theres no reason for it. theres been a little drama going on but im not gonna let that ruin anything or the way im feeling. so yeah im pretty angry. that nick hardly ever talks to me and when i get upset about it he gets mad at me. Im done talking to him for good. its for the best. because i ( Read more... )

so. yeah. Last night scared me alot. I need to get myself together. I dont want to go back in that hospital. i know i dont need it. But i dont know i think i had a bad reaction to some medicine i took. It was the worst feeling in the world. I was screaming and kicking i felt like i was possessed and i was jumping out of my skin. Like everything ( Read more... )

you know how the little like scroll bar of things come up when u r typing in like subjects and stuff well i just picked a random thing ive wrote before and filled that in for the subject. im sure i didnt have to explain myself ( Read more... )

i dont even know lately. Ive been kinda depressed again. I just dont understand some things. Why am i even here. what is the point of living? The only thing i can think of for the point of living is to just be happpy. and that will never happen for me ( Read more... )

today is christmas. it made me realize how appreciative of my family i am. I love them so much. I have probably one of the best families. My parents would do anything for me and they are so understanding. ah i love them. I havent done anything lately. All i do is sit on my fucking bed infront of this fucking computer. Its fucking terrible. No one ( Read more... )

so i dont know. everythings just fucking blah lately. monday i drank so much with allison it was fucking awesome. i was having problems. ah fuck it. and then tuesday went to baltimore. it was amazing<3 i dont feel like writing in this fucking thing. i could get into detail about things but no one ever reads this shit, no one ever comments. none of ( Read more... )

so its almost 5 am. i had a terrible night. I tried to make the day work yesterday. it didnt work. Im pretty calm right now. Like i have no emotion left. I have no tears left. I cried them all out. i feel so bad, i dont try to be a bitch. I dont know how to explain to him whats wrong. I Like him. He doesnt like me. the end. I didnt want to like him ( Read more... )