Well its been about a month since I discovered that its not just about CDs and DVDs...and my credit card is now glowing.  So far the spending spree  has included:

• A pram and car seat/base.
• A 106 piece Arthur Price cutlery set.
• A new futon matress & covers.
• An obscene amount of Denby plates and mugs.
• A pouve? Pouffe? Poof?  Square thing that you sit on.

I've just ordered some dinner plates.  Square (ish) ones.  I am now convinced that they wont work.  Its the corners that cause confusion...will I need to put a differetn food item in each one? Or should I only have four potatoes nad put one in each bit?  What about What if I only have three things to eat on it?  I am concerned I may flip and throw ( Read more... )

and I am fucking STUNNED by how AMAZINGLY STUPID people are.

• So far the three policers used as witnesses/interviewers that have been called to give evidence have had the reading ages of a trio of severely retarded partially sighted five year olds.
• My fellow jurors are so fucking THICK they cannot follow witness statements. We are supplied with ( Read more... )

as I ambled around the streets of Reading I approached a little old lady.  As I drew near she asked if I would help her across the road...I adopted by bestest boy scout smile and said 'of course'.  We held hands as we crossed (is this correct, or have I been violated?  I was anticipating linked arms?).  The seconds turned into minutes...after some ( Read more... )

Go away.  Leave me the fuck alone.  Don't follow me around Sainsburys whining about my fucking parking.  Go buy some fucking vegetables and fuck off out my face.

I haven't wanted to thump anyone for a fair old while.  RAGE.  White knuckle time. Smugly putting across your stupid fucking point like a sodding vicar delivering a sermon.  Interrupting my ( Read more... )

and I find myself bored out of my little tree...

The South Africans are now using the phrase 'Looks like we've got ourselves a Ruby situation'  when they aren't quite sure of something.  Painful, but not quite as bad as 'Give me the skinny on that' which I was subjected to a few days ago...

This week I have:

• Been a bit funny in the head.
• Done very ( Read more... )

• Taking over an hour and a half to get into sodding work.
• Retching.  In the toilet.  Some lovely person had filled the bowl with loo roll and then laid a titanic (and,  I noted as I wrestled to contain my breakfast,  rather aesthetically pleasing) turd on top.  This coupled with yesterdays 'mad cubicle dash'  (which took in 3 floors 5 sets of toilets ( Read more... )

Well, it appears it takes over 3 days from my putting a n envelope addressed to myself in the internal mail tray, to the same bit of mail turning up in my pigeon hole...Which means it would have been quicker to stick it in the external mail tray with a stamp and address on it.

What the hell do these people do all day??

Mission accomplished ( Read more... )

1. Sean Paul
2. Alex Zane
3. Samuel Preston
4. Mariah cunting Carey
5. Matt 'smug cunt' Barbett