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Imperfection/Adventure/Hormones
I feel like an idiot for adopting a kitten last week. What I really wanted was Tosca back, but there is no way to replace our sweet elderly lady. A warm thing that loves us to brighten our home life. The snotnose teen that nips us, attacks my trees and peed on the rug yesterday is a pain in the butt. I am thinking about giving him back to the ( Read more... ) -
Worst enemy, etc.
I've been in kind of a vortex of perfectionism lately, kind of an upward spiral, but not in a healthy way at all ( Read more... ) -
March.
I had a miscarriage this weekend. I was nine weeks pregnant. We had decided to start trying at the beginning of this year. The timing was compelling: I'm 34, a part-time student, and have a year and a half ahead of me of waiting to start a nursing program (if I get in), and he just got a good job. We both felt that this was an adventure we wanted ( Read more... ) -
Connectivity.
I have no idea who my family are. Or what family is for, really. -
The Button of Doom.
As always. If I show even the mildest annoyance with Trousers he has an intense reaction of being distant for a certain amount of time. It feels to him that I'm "being mean" and he can't just know it's not about him, shake it off, forgive and forget. We're talking mild here, too. Not sarcasm, not a raised voice, mere briskness in tone. This has the ( Read more... ) -
Post-Con blues + the usual.
1. DragonCon was very fun. Squidz and I got along as well as we ever have. No sex, but it felt like we were Together, partners. Partly because that's how the people we know there see us, but partly because we functioned that way and were also very affectionate and thankful for having each other. It felt good. I hope that I can take that good ( Read more... ) -
Through.
I'm still working through a lot, and it's been painful, but through is the operative word. The squid is making it abundantly clear that he's not going anywhere, and I can call or come by any time I feel bad and need to talk. And talking helps ( Read more... ) -
Second law.
I've never changed my official (taxes, driver's license, bank, etc.) address from the squid's to any of my subsequent addresses. I still have a closet and a big chest of drawers there to myself. Like I never moved away, not really. It's time to change those things, I see. Although it would be extremely inconvenient to get my own car instead of ( Read more... ) -
Squidless.
The squid has not called, texted or emailed me since I left SF on July 30. I am hurt by this. He makes so very little effort these days to stay connected or to show interest. I have still been spending a couple nights a week at his place. It's true that I live with Trousers, but I still have a lot to give the squid, and I show a lot of interest in ( Read more... ) -
Skint.
There's lint in my pockets, so it's time to return to this discount alternative to therapy ( Read more... )