divamatrix

wondering where it ends?

divamatrix Aug 18, 2010 03:36

He's so insanely insecure that he spends hours reading my email and going through my web history. Words can't convince him that he's the only one for me. So instead, I just keep cutting people out of my life that he's threatened by. Where does it end? When does he finally know that he has nothing to worry about?

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divamatrix Nov 10, 2009 04:07

I've been sleeping for almost 2 days straight now. The only reason I'm out of bed is because my back hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. I fall asleep and dream. Dreams are always better than life. I wake up and I'm back here. I'm back at my brother's. I'm back by myself in a small basement room with nothing but what I have in my room and ( Read more... )

death

Get busy livin..

divamatrix Aug 12, 2009 20:16

Or get busy dying ( Read more... )

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divamatrix Jul 08, 2009 11:36

This last month has been really rough. I'm having problems with depression and anxiety. Turns out my anti-depression medication (cymbalta) was making my depression MUCH MUCH worse, I just didn't realize it. I still struggle.. every day. They put me on new meds, but I don't seem to feel much from them. I suppose I should go see someone. I was ( Read more... )

So...

divamatrix May 06, 2009 16:12

I'm still here ( Read more... )

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divamatrix Feb 18, 2009 16:14

I"m thinking about heading off to and working from the beach tomorrow. It always helps clear my mind and it would make me really happy to take my dogs there ( Read more... )

Been a long time....

divamatrix Feb 18, 2009 14:14

Yes. I'm still here. I'm sorry if some people worried ( Read more... )

I had a dream

divamatrix Nov 20, 2008 18:38

I had a dream that I was on the freeway driving very fast. Someone cut me off and I got into a horrible accident. As the accident was happening, I thought to myself "well here goes. I'm going to die now." Then I woke up. The thing about it was that I wasn't scared. I was relieved. Its all I think about ( Read more... )

Pain

divamatrix Oct 21, 2008 13:27

Why is it that everything is going good in my life.. but the one thing.. the one thing I truly want.. have wanted.. is the one thing that I can't have ( Read more... )

Good job idiot.

divamatrix Jun 16, 2008 12:48

So yeah.. curiosity totally just mangled the fucking cat.

Asked him about a song. Got the exact answer I didn't want.

Cross that song off the list of songs I want to listen to.

Fuck. Why am I so stupid that I'm so in love with the guy?

Fuck.

I'm going to get so hurt. I'm so fucking stupid.

scot