It really has been forever since i've written anything anywhere. I've been keeping to myself a lot. Im learning that my "me time" is the most valuable time ever in life.. that and the time i spend with kyle ( Read more... )

i dont even know how to start this, really. things have been so.. not me.. not normal.. not anything lately. i feel like this entry is just gonna be me babbling and talking crazy nonsense, but as crazy as it is, i think thats what i need to do. about 3 weeks ago, i told kyle i was done. i started "dating" this guy brad and things were looking up.. ( Read more... )

i didnt sleep well last night and here i am, up up, really early. i couldnt get back to sleep so i decided to release my mind of recent thoughts. in the past few days, i managed to piss off 2 of the most important ppl in my life. i sucked it up with one of them and now things are ok. i wanna suck it up with the other one, but i feel that hes ( Read more... )

tonight is another one of those nights and i dont know how much longer i can take it. im sure most of it is me.. it always is, but im tired of having my feelings hurt all the time. after the last entry, kyle told me he wanted me to tell him whenever something is bothering me, but im finding that when i do, its like talking to a brick wall. i dont ( Read more... )

if i dont let this out in some way, im gonna lose my mind. i've been thinking a lot lately. within the past several months, but moreso in the past week since kyles been gone. i dont feel like my heart is in it anymore. i dont wanna say anything bc i dont wanna make a decision that im gonna regret or as ashley would say "act on impulse". i love kyle ( Read more... )

i dont really have too much to say. kyle came to visit for christmas and new years and it was pretty awesome. things went really well and now we're back together. it doesnt really feel like it, but we are. i still kinda feel the way i have in past times.. that maybe hes ashamed of me :/ he never wants ppl to know when hes with me. it kinds hurts my ( Read more... )

i cant take it anymore. my thoughts are working overtime and i've come to the conclusion that regardless of what i want with him, im never gonna have it. hes never gonna open up to me. neither of us are ever gonna move. im never gonna be enough and hes never gonna truly love me. he doesnt even know what he wants, but if he ever decides, it wont be ( Read more... )

YAY! i dont even know if i've written of the new haircut, but its been a couple weeks and i still LOVE it :) change is so hard to actually do, but its always nice in some way. i seem to change my image a lot more than i change anything else, but its ok. i like to shock ppl :p ( Read more... )

ryan cabrera might be a "tool", but he writes some really good songs ( Read more... )

DECEMBER 25TH.. 11PM.. I TOTALLY CANT WAIT :D I COULDNT ASK FOR A MORE PERFECT GIFT! MUAH! <3