I just want everything and dont give shit,huh ( Read more... )

Looking around at loads upon loads of laundry,most of which, neither mine or my sons, and unless I want to be barricaded in my room by clothes forever,I will have to be the one to wash,dry,fold and put away. So sick of having the burden of a clean house completely on MY shoulders. Even more sick of trying to ask for you to pitch in,just to hear ( Read more... )

I guess I don't do anything right. Everything I do,say,think,feel must be wrong. I'm not entitled to my own opinions. If my feelings are hurt-well they shouldn't be, I just need to get over it. So it's whatever. I'm hurt. I'm pissed. I'm confused. But voicing any of that anymore is pointless. I feel like an idiot. Maybe I should have stayed where I ( Read more... )

I think too much sometimes. I'm so good at pushing everything to the back of my mind,but sometimes I can't stop the past from creeping back and flooding my thoughts. All of a sudden I'm there again,reliving every moment,feeling every pain. EVERYTHING. It all comes rushing back so unexpected,yet so vivid. I am laying in that white van again. I can ( Read more... )

Oh whatta world whatta world. Where to begin ( Read more... )

Now that I'm not completely lame....what is there to write about on LJ ( Read more... )

Fuck everyone who makes me feel like shit w/o even realizing it. Fuck acting like I give a fuck. Fuck what you think. Fuck how I think. Fuck it all. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Fuck trying. Fuck giving up. Fuck being gone for days and no one seeing if your ok. Fuck being "on the side". Fuck making me think about it then ripping it away. FUCK!!!!!!

I need to get laid........

OMG! This shit was crazy! So no more then a half an hour after I posted my last entry, HE called me. He asked if he could come over. I said yes. Him and some folks came over, drunk. It was nice to see him and talk to him. I cant tell u how hard it's been to just walk by him like i dont know him. I got to hug him. I looked in his eyes a few times.It ( Read more... )

So, I had a dream last night. It felt great. I got to feel that comfort I use to feel all the time. His arms......they felt the same as they use to. They kept me safe. He looked at me the same way. His voice. He use to have a voice he only spoke to me in. I heard it. It sang to me. It told me things I missed hearing. my heart fluttered again. It's ( Read more... )