I stumbled across a wise man yesterday. His name was Danny McFreely. Thats it.

Have you ever felt the touch of Jello monster? Love Jello and Hate Jello. They get in battles over your decisions. The Love Jello Monster is green, and the hate jello monster is red. Whoever wins is who controlls your brain. Did you know that Hitler had a red Jello monster? Ghandi had a green one. For some odd reason, Mark Summers had a red jello ( Read more... )

Flashing lights really bother moths. Seriously. Don't fuck with moths.

Whip
Pop
Snap
And Pop again.

Those are the rules to life.

When going gets tough, whip.

When a pigs gotta gun on you, pop.

When a camel sits on your back, snap

And if a tiny cop pops out of the first one, pop again.

THOR COMES DOWN FROM THE NETHER REGIONS AND LAYS HIS HAMMER DOWN ON YOUR HEAD.

I'm really starting to dislike black comedians. I mean, I'm tired of getting home, turning on the TV, just to be made fun of by the brother of D.L Hugley's best freind do a bit about how diffrent white people walk from black people. I get it, we're nerds, you're cool and laid back. Now, I'm gonna put on my Bill Hicks CD and learn somthing ( Read more... )

Moby is a pussy Mr.Clean.

::Spacey techno beat with a fading away guitar line::

If your floors are dirty
Go out to the store
And go to the clean-up aisle
And pick your soap of choice
No to pine sol
Mr. Cleeeeeeeeeean.

I really need to build a robot suit. Nah, fuck that, I'll get all oily...then the government will kill me.

Why must people always stab me in the ribs? I mean Jesus Christ, variate yourselves a bit and go for a belly stab. Rib stabbings are getting way too played out.

If I were homeless, I'd go door to door looking for shelter for the night. And if they say so, I'll take a massive shit on their porch.