Comments | doinitwitrythem: just what it is

doinitwitrythem

just what it is

Jul 15, 2006 06:38

Well...I officially look and feel like a young kurt cobain and feel like im not following very far in his footsteps.Im murdering my own heart.Dude..I feel so...emo-ish?..I guess *shrugs* but what do you expect from a guy that just lost his damn children and who's BEST friend and hero is in jail for the sins and crime you committed yourself?Yeah I ( Read more... )

Comments 52

_xonikkiox_ July 15 2006, 07:14:09 UTC

your not following in his footsteps. i wont let you. i wish i could help you but it doesnt seem like i can. hopefully tay will be out soon and you all can talk and al lthat ( ... )

doinitwitrythem July 15 2006, 07:24:23 UTC

yeah...hopefully.But hoping is for pussies these days.So I dont do much of that anymore ( ... )

_xonikkiox_ July 16 2006, 02:48:15 UTC

zac..hoping isn't for pussys. if you dont have hope you really dont have much to live for. theres still so much hope. you could still watch ethan grow up. you dont need to give up.

well its good you got that connection with her that you have with tay..or something like that. i know your not keen tothe idea of good things happen but im not either but you can't just not believe in good things anymore...thats like losing hope you can't do it. zac good things can happen and they will.

i know you'll always love her and she'll always love you. that kind of love you can't just turn off or ignore its there like a knawing hunger. you're always aware of it. and it threatens to eat you whole. shes stubborn but then so are you. well it's worth fighting for. i know you couldn't. you love that little boy. aww. dont cry zac. when i look at the twins i wanna cry they remind me so much of tay anymore...it kind of conforts me because its almost like hes there. i can look into their eyes and see his looking back at me. *sigh*

doinitwitrythem July 19 2006, 06:46:51 UTC

Yeah...I dont know.Didnt get me very far but shit on and looking like an asshole with wishful thinking who has no grips on reality.Ya know?If I get ethan introduced back into my life..for the long run..and tay gets out of jail..then..then maybe we will talk about hope.

Yeah...I dont know, I was hella drunk so that could also make me think she reminded me of tay?I dont know.My ass wasnt even close to being sober..for god sake I was talking to a trash can I mean come on.Lol.Yeah, well..as far as the dating scene..and falling in love..not for me.I fell in love, with one person and as far as I go..my heart is going to be burried beating for that girl.

Yeah.Just wish that she'd see it.So convince her..not just me.Because she's the one that needs convincing.I know..she's worth every bit and im begining to see that more and more, the harder she pushes,the tighter I want to hold her.Yeah..I need to look at the twins..because..I..I miss tay so damn much.

Thread 5

kaleyz July 15 2006, 10:26:42 UTC

haha COOL! I made it into the journal entry.

Dude dont' be freaked over the stuff that happened the other night. I basically played nurse and fixed you up. It didn't mean anything. I reckon ur awesome and you have alot of things happening in ur life. No need to freak and jet on me.

Anyways hope your doing ok, maybe we could catch up..... i'm pretty good at listening.

Who is this taylor? I would like to know who i remind you of. Is it a girl or a boy? cuz it is a unisex name now. TELL MEEEEEEEE *Gigglez*

It's good you get to see ur son. You must really miss him. Don't be so sad, just look at the good things in life. At everything around you, everyone who obviously loves you.

And after all, you still have ur health... well that's wat everyone says anyways.

Kaley

doinitwitrythem July 19 2006, 02:49:53 UTC

Yeah you did my beautiful stranger lady friend ( ... )

kaleyz July 20 2006, 04:49:39 UTC

*gigglez* are you gonna continue calling me "beautiful stranger lady" ? Cuz if you plan to, i might have to beat the hell outta you. lol ( ... )

doinitwitrythem August 1 2006, 04:50:03 UTC

Yeah sorry Kaley guess that was the immature child within me part huh?Trying to lighten the mood.At the moment, it seemed farely appropriate ( ... )

Thread 11

tj_h July 15 2006, 10:40:15 UTC

you found a female taylor? omigoshhhhhhh i have to meet this amazing person with great attitude and a humour to boot. *laughs* No seriously, it might be good to have another friend Zac. And if you feel as comfortable with her as you do with me, well that's not something that happens every day. You can never have too many friends. PLUS if she's like me, u can get the GIRL perspective.... cuz she IS a girl. *laughs* milk it for all it's worth.

I love ya man, i'll be home soon. Just keep it together alittle longer then everything'll be ok again. I promise.

doinitwitrythem July 19 2006, 02:43:22 UTC

Yes I did find a female taylor.Though..there never really was a male taylor.LOL j/k dude.Yeah, you should meet her.I need to meet her a little more too, beings last time wasnt exactly under the best or most impressionable circumstance too.Ya know?It was lame.Just like me.Yeah, it really could be nice having another friend Tay.But..I want my first friend, my childhood friend..my best friend..I want you back tay.Shit just isnt the same without you.Im incomplete dude.I know..I dont know how i come even REMOTELY close to being as close with a stranger as I do with you..I mean..im thinking that was just a fluke..I was hella drunk so of course I felt comfortable..who wouldnt?So anyways..yeah.I dont know man.Dude your weird.

i love ya too man..please...please..end this now.Let me take the wrap if that will promise to get you out.Im desprit.I cant do this anymore.

tj_h July 20 2006, 05:17:02 UTC

Zac, you have no idea. I'm almost home, seriously. I'm out! And i'm in a taxi on my way home. Don't do anything. PLEASE! I'm out, i'm coming home. Just wait, i wanna spend time with nikki and the boys first. AND don't tell them, i'm gonna surprise her. By just walking through the door. *Smiles*

I'm out and home Zac. Love ya, and i'll SEE you soon. I promise.

Tay

doinitwitrythem July 20 2006, 07:36:27 UTC

Dude are you serious?OMFG tay I need you so bad I need to see you so so fucking bad man.To , to know its real.It seemed like it took forever and a day, it was far too long thats all I know and I never EVER want to go through that again, dont you ever do that again alright?DOnt leave me again.

I love ya tay so much

Thread 8

natalieabryant July 17 2006, 18:16:23 UTC

I know this all has to be hard on you, its always difficult to figure out how to deal with loss, especially people that were so close to you. I dont even know what to say that would help because no matter what I say they arent here. We'll figure it out, we just have to remember the good times with them ( ... )

doinitwitrythem July 19 2006, 02:39:37 UTC

Of course its hard.That's a given.Very um, observative of you though.Sorry,im being a dick.I find myself saying the first thing that comes to mind and dont really think about it first.Im a wreck, if you havent noticed ( ... )

tj_h July 20 2006, 05:19:15 UTC

Hey don't you do that. Don't make him feel bad. I did this and i ask him as a brother to LET me. And if he hadn't he KNOWS i wouldn't have been happy with him. If he had of come forward i would've been put in jail for lying. So either way i would be in jail. But i'm out now. Seriously nat, don't do that to him. He's a fucking mess he don't need to hear you saying that sort of shit about me not deserving to be in jail. I might not have done the deed but i was there for a reason. Cuz i love Zac, even if you don't anymore. But you KNOW how much Zac means to me, he always has.

doinitwitrythem July 20 2006, 07:39:01 UTC

Thank you tay...fuck..you just...you..you never fail to be there for me man.And even if your out, that time you were in there and away from your boys..you can never get back.\

and for that..im so sorry/

Thread 25

okah123 September 8 2006, 20:54:01 UTC

you dont miss me? aw, now i feel left out!

doinitwitrythem September 18 2006, 08:03:23 UTC

I do miss you,..i just..I..I cant believe it..your still alive..I just..wow..i..wow

okah123 October 3 2006, 01:35:26 UTC

jesus i miss you too. im still alive, yeah. i just moved back in with tay. this past year has been...bad.