Comments | doinitwitrythem: taken away with haste

doinitwitrythem

taken away with haste

May 21, 2007 17:59

Well its been a while since i've wrote in this thing.I guess I havent fathomed up enough strength to get myself to, or to regain my composure.Im really weak lately.I recently learnt of some news that all hit me like a tidal wave rushing in at once, busting down everything i've worked so hard for, busting down the walls that surrounded me and kept ( Read more... )

Comments 27

kaleyz May 23 2007, 03:06:15 UTC

Hey Zac,
i know this is all too hard to handle. But it'll be ok. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and all you can do is be there for sweet choey and show her how much you love her. I know it's hard. You love her, she knows that.

You know i'm here at any time for you.

Love you,
Kaley

doinitwitrythem May 23 2007, 03:32:33 UTC

yeah..uh...thanks.

i dont know how this whole destiney and fait thing works..or if there is any rationality to it!I dont know if its fare or ever was.

I love my daughter..but its hard for a father when even a fathers love, you dont know..is enough to save the life of your daughter..I mean look at Kingsley,Tay loved her more then fuckin anything in the world!!more then ME even!!And that wasnt enough to save her..not my sweet child...please..not her.

thanks...i love you too

kaleyz May 23 2007, 03:53:24 UTC

You don't have to believe in destiny or fate... i do. And i'm not gonna force it on you. But i have to believe that things happen for a reason, if not i'd probably have killed myself several times by now. Just know that all you can do is be there for her and hold her hand through it. Like you said you don't know how bad this cancer is..... it could be good, or bad but that really doesn't matter.... what matters is being there for your daughter. She needs you and you need to be there for her. Love her, that's all you can do right now. And try not to get sick by worrying too much.

Just be there for her... spend her my love and give her a hug/kiss for me (whatever is my comfortable for her) and let me know whats happening. Oh and me and Jenni made some food for you guys at home so you can just heat it up. I know you won't have time to cook and it's better for you all to have better made food.

All My Love

doinitwitrythem May 23 2007, 03:59:51 UTC

Yeah..sorry..just dont know if im all that good of a student when it comes to listening to someone preach about these things, im sour at this moment, not to everything.Im glad you never killed myself,please dont ever kill yourself keley are you talking about killing yourself?cause I just dont know if id be able to take that.Are you depressed?I mean, you've never told me you are.How could ANY kind of cancer be good?Please tell me that?I love my daughter and will always be there for her, she knows that..im daddy..I love her..so much so so much ( ... )

Thread 15

okah123 May 23 2007, 20:54:03 UTC

i know it sucks. apparently the giant gray cloud over our heads is endless and ubiquitous. i hope one day all the hansons find peace.

doinitwitrythem May 24 2007, 04:04:15 UTC

Avery...uh..wow...its nice to see you.Shits been too long.How are you?How are...things?? Your not even joking either.It needs to let up...and peace doesnt always need to be found through death

okah123 May 24 2007, 22:23:58 UTC

i've been alright, just taking it day by day. how've you been?

doinitwitrythem May 26 2007, 20:50:15 UTC

Just alright?that's all you've got to say?Id like details.I'd like to know your safe.Me..id rather not answer that question

tj_h May 26 2007, 17:48:56 UTC

oh god zac. This is terrible news. That's just... terrible. Jessica and now Choloe is sick. How bad is it? whats happening about it? can i come and visit her? I gotta say i know how you feel, i'm probably one of the only ones that does know exactly how you feel. Going through that with juilet was terrible.

Zac i'm here for you, you gotta know that ok? I'm here, night, day, whenever.... call me, turn up here.... just i'm here.

doinitwitrythem May 26 2007, 20:52:37 UTC

I know its terrible..its fucking tragic.Why Jess?I mean..come on dude.And of all the ways to go.And yes, Choloe is sick,we are still waiting on the lab tests to tell us what type it is and how bad it is and if ...if...its terminal.Yes you may come and visit her, infact, i would encourage it..i would encourage everyone to come and see her as much as possible, but especially you tay.Not just for her, but for me too..I need your help holding it together man..im falling apart, I havent gotten shit for sleep.I love you man..what am I gonna do?

tj_h May 26 2007, 21:10:50 UTC

Firstly, i'm gonna give you my sleeping pills. As awful as it is you need to sleep. You can't be there for her if your a basket case cuz your sleep deprived. And second i'll be there in a second. I'm making my way there now. You just gotta breathe, i know it's hard but you just gotta do it. You vcan't change anything, you just can't... so you have to deal with what you've been dealt and make the best of it. And Choloe is tough like her dad... so i'm sure she'll fight this off no problem.

doinitwitrythem May 27 2007, 01:29:28 UTC

But at the same time,im scared to sleep..im scared ill have nightmares or im scared ill miss something or have less time with her you know?I just keep going back in my mind to when you were going through this with juliet and I told you the same thing,only..she didnt make it.Im so sorry, god im sorry I said I understood, really I didnt, I couldnt..who could?Unless they had a kid that was going through it?Now im being punished for saying I understood.

_xonikkiox_ May 28 2007, 06:53:50 UTC

hey zac.

im sorry about everything thats going on. jesus. what is it with this family thats its all death and gloom? who cursed this family?

jesus...jessica is dead? fuck. :( wheres the other kids? god. thats just not right at all. where the fuck is her boyfriend at? i want to kick his ass! how could he do that. damnit i feel bad for not knowing this was going on. :(

and holy fuck. hows cloey? god. :( this family cant fucking win and both these little girls. god. whats the doctors saying? christ. this makes me so sad. havent we lost enough fucking family members in this family the last couple of years? havent we lost enough kids of this family? we will fight this zac and i'll be here for you if you need any help. you need anyone to watch the kids or clean the house or anything im here and dont be afraid to ask. i'll do anything you need. zac it's going to be alright. we'll fight this and shes a shell make it. shes strong. and we'll beat it alright?

doinitwitrythem May 30 2007, 02:01:07 UTC

i dont know..I dont understand it either, obviously and I dont think I ever fuckin will to tell you the truth.Sorry that you got envolved..its a tough game,its a tough life.Probably fuckin walker..its probably all his fault,it started with him.That's where all the troubles began ( ... )

_xonikkiox_ June 1 2007, 13:50:48 UTC

i know you dont understand and no one does. this family just has some bad juju for somereason we need to get rid of it. dont be sorry i got envolved im not...well not really i mean sure i've been through alot of pain with the whole ike deal but so much more good has come into my life since then. things did start to go down hill with walker. but i dont see how it could still be his fault. hopefully things will get better soon. i pray it does ( ... )

doinitwitrythem June 4 2007, 20:47:04 UTC

Well even so..its just horrible.I dont think anyone deserves THIS shit for luck you know?Its like we are paying for WALKER's mistakes.Its good to have someone who see's the good in bad,because I myself get stuck on the bad.Thanks Jolly ole saint Nik.

I just,I wish we had spent more time together,I wish she wouldnt have moved away out of my reach out of my eye view.Maybe she'd be safe, you know?I know..I just..im trying to collect myself enough to talk to them.

Thanks...god..I hope so..i really fuckin hope so.You've helped so much more then you really even know.

nik your great