(I wish I were thinner.

No, I don't.

Yes, I do.

Too bad.)

I'm going to keep fucking myself up until I'm numb.

I stepped on the scale a few minutes ago. I haven't allowed myself to in, God, I don't know. Weeks, at least ( Read more... )

I let things spin so out of control. When I was nine, I wanted to be President so that I could outlaw eating meat and being mean to people. And now? I haven't volunteered in a month. (Although I am going today.) I hate school and don't put any effort into it. There are kids all over the world who give anything to get the education I'm being given. ( Read more... )

"How's your arm ( Read more... )

I haven't cut yet, and it's a very strange feeling, but I'm kind of proud of myself. In all honesty, I'm sure I will soon, but I'm surprised I've held off for as long as I have. I found one of my really good razors in the bottom of my make up box today. (When I ran away over the summer, I hid all of my razors because I knew everyone would be ( Read more... )

I got my PSAT scores back and my selection index is 214, which may or may not be high enough to qualify me for the National Merit Scholarships, depending on what the cut off number ends up being in Ohio. I can't handle it ( Read more... )

Inane girlishness that should be ignored to follow ( Read more... )

In therapy, one is advised to keep a journal. Writing is supposed to be one of the most effective ways of learning to help yourself and develop insight. I'd like to know, then, why I write for hours upon hours a day and am still as fucked up as I am ( Read more... )

Very foreign feelings:

The list of boys that admittedly like me has grown out of control. And, of course, this correlates back to the eating disorder because I weigh 112 pounds, which is unacceptably high. I obviously do not understand the opposite sex. I'm eating well because I'm concerned that if I lose weight I won't be attractive anymore, even ( Read more... )

The sun is coming up now. Yesterday has become tomorrow. Every moment was the next ( Read more... )