Back on earth, I used to drink beers across the street from the Police Academy. Not that Academy. Being a Marine, nobody minded me hanging out with the cops and would-be rookie cops.

So on the topic of rookie cops, why did I just find action figures of my old buddy, Leon Kennedy?

Hell is weird.

We found a powered battle suit sprawled in a well-lit corner. It looked empty but it wasn't. Turned out everything from the neck down was still inside the battlesuit.

Poor bastard should have worn a helmet.

His crowbar has turned out to be very useful.

I don't understand. I can't use my BFG to light my cigars anymore. This, despite some scavenged medical equipment showing the cigars do not harm my half-wolf lungs.

Thankfully Hell's loose grasp on time itself found us some relief. In a great anti-cabin fever moment, we got to attend the first Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It didn't go perfectly. Human Fly tried to tell people about 'future' demon invasions and they heard it as him saying he am sexually attracted to hamburgers. Plus, the Snoopy balloon was ( Read more... )

These (now all zombies) UAC miners have no informational security (passwords in open access PDAS) and no sense of too much information (delete your temp file after sending nudie pics to MarsBook).

Hell doesn't have linear time as we know it.

As such, sometimes the brief Earth exploits I get don't happen in modern times.

Let's just say Abraham Lincoln smells like feet.

One man's hell is another man's heaven ( Read more... )

There's five of those Freecreditreport.com fuzzy-headed idiots after us right now.

At least I have an excuse of looking like there's a dead rat on my head. Sometimes there is a dead rat on my head.

Not sure if this is an alternate universe thing but us four discovered some disturbing things. A PDA (private digital assistant) in the lab pocket of a zombie that had made it deep into the levels of Hell ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what the reality behind that Zig-Zag creature/lady actually was. But ... I didn't know my fur could do that! One hand motion (and that's all!) ...rrrow ( Read more... )