as i sit upon my rocking chair ( Read more... )

what is the matter with me? i've been sad lately and i know it's only cause i'm feeling sorry for myself. i try to trigger all the positive energy in, the negative energy out. it's hard though. i don't know why, but it's hard. i need to meditate. i need some alone time so i can think about all the good. i don't know why i'm always bitching about ( Read more... )

it's been twenty three weeks and yes of course life has changed. if it didn't i would be scared for my life. ive actually moved to the west coast, and if you're wondering if it's really a golden state, no. the only gold i found here was in an ex lovers grill. and no not the kind that goes in the mouth, the kind you cook three hundred dollar ( Read more... )

oooookay. he's douche. he's the one person who can make me laugh till i cry, but make me cry till i sleep. it's a horrible thing that word love. it seems to have hurt me more than actually make me feel good. there is someone out there who wants to spend time with me, play with me, laugh with me, and do other things like walk around aimlessly until ( Read more... )

i say fuck love. i'm totally in love with this goober and i can't get over this faggot. i don't know what to do. i give up. i totally need to stop caring when he doesn't care. seriously how dumb do i have to be. i mean really am i that naive? no, i'm not, so thats why i will stop. i'll lie to him and tell him that i missed my madre and he'll ( Read more... )

I poisoned myself with my own pumpkin pie. The last person who poisoned was my dad's wife. It was when I was eight. She also use to lock me in the guest room bedroom. Food poisoning was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. I asked God to take my life many times those days. The fella I am seeing is quite wonderful. He is quite possibly ( Read more... )

love at first sight is true after all.

The pesky relationship I have with this crtain pesky person is getting on my freaking nerves. I just want it to go away. Really I do. I just got a tarot card reading and for being an online terot card reading it sure did make sense. i remember when amanda plummer gave me a tarot card reading, i do believe that one was pretty accurate as well. Hmmm ( Read more... )

Now that a few weeks have passed we are getting bored with each other. Well I guess it's more him getting bored with me. Not like I care. I am so de-sensitized by everything that has been going on with me and Justin that no guy can get to me enough to where I care if we don't see each other anymore. I'm so eh about it all. I mean I care to the ( Read more... )

i unpacked some stuff that was in suitcases since the breakup. It smells of us. the way everything smelled beofre the breakup. i miss you justin. if your reading this I just want to say i never meant to hurt you. Never ever in a million years. if i could i would never have gone on that blind date. i hurt you and im sorry and i will always love you ( Read more... )