i have never felt less important or cared about in my entire life.

and i am in a relationship with a guy i absolutely adore.

maybe all my assumptions are true,
maybe im just not meant to find or deserve real love.

I might not of meant that much to you,
but it meant everything to me.

i dont even find out when i can leave for bootcamp until july.
i cant wait to start this new chapter of my life and get out of this town with all the same idiots. i cant wait to travel the world and meet genuine kind hearted people.
waiting is the hardest part.

im beginning to feel like he ruined my ability to love.

i want someone to sweep me off my feet :(

i think im finally ready for something...or someone new.

im right back to where i was almost 5 months ago.

im very nervous/excited/reluctant/happy/scared for this next phase of my life.
when i know more about where EXACTLY its headed i'll post.

[its almost as if you never existed.]

If I can't have you, I don't want anyone. Food has lost its taste, colors don't seem as bright, things that used to excite me aren't important anymore. For a girl who always had a thousand things to say I have barely a word. Its almost as if a part of me is gone, I am incomplete. Pieces of my heart and personality are missing.I have rebuilt myself ( Read more... )

I thought deleting you from my life, not talking to you or about you, and forcing myself to try and move on, would make the pain go away.

It hasn't.

I still love you just as much now as I ever did, and on a day of thanks, I'm thankful for the greatest love I have ever known, even if you don't love me anymore.

I never thought you'd be the one to build me up then break me down like this.

My heart and my head has never been this fucked up.

7 weeks later and I'm still trying to put the pieces back together but I'm realizing that some of them are missing.

I gave you everything, I gave you all my feelings, now I have nothing, I want them back.