I had a very recently bad experience that turned into having to go through tests because something had been found. One of the tests is today after lunch sometime, an ultrasound. I went into a deep omg pity me world I hate you! Because I was afraid that I would say ok let’s fix this problem now and not transition yet, put myself on hold yet again. ( Read more... )

So I have been trying to will myself into throwing out things. Why is it so hard? Because I am a freakin pack rat. Doesn't matter that I can't fit those clothes anymore. That toy from my child hood smells funny, or I wouldn't be caught dead in those shoes again. I just... I'm waiting for word that I'll get my letter. Last appointment I signed a ( Read more... )

 He is currently serving in Iraq at this moment and decided to call me tonight for me and three am for him. >,< I had to shove him off the phone to get sleep.  Well anyway I didn't want to tell him over the phone for fear of a negative reaction without me seeing his face. I told him to please from now on call me my new name. He did several times ( Read more... )

So this week and last has been stressful, why? Because of the name change. People down town can't give you the information you ask for. So I ended up going down to the district court twice and nearly a third time, you would think for 140 bones they would be a tad bit more helpful. First I had to find my own paper work/legal forms, second I did the ( Read more... )

 The doctor’s visit was actually pretty good, I was told to contact the doctor that will start the treatment even though I did not have my letter. Well I did that then found out I have to have a referral though I don't know how to do this because my current primary is already a General practice and so is the doctor that can start the treatment. I ( Read more... )

Sickly today why? Because I tried to tough it out and go to work during a migraine. Which I hadn't had to deal with in nearly six months. Stress added up, mostly the fact that I have to play nice at work while I am being walked all over. So I od on a few pain pills to ease the pain so that I could actually go to work. Now I'm drowsy and sick to my ( Read more... )

So yesterday I was nearly guilt-ed into doing something I didn't want to do. I haven't wanted to go out in public because wearing my new binder hurts. Finally a longer model comes in and guess what... it isn't tight enough to do anything. So right now I'm stuck actually wearing more then one, which means if I move too fast I get light headed ( Read more... )

Just as the title states I do not pass in public, at least not well. If someone uses a female title towards me I notice my voice goes up. Or my female which pisses me off and makes me automatically start to speak in a higher voice. Yet strained like it isn't my voice at all.  God I hate it makes me want to cry which makes me want to scream. I'm ( Read more... )

I decided not to post today. I'm just much to beyond fucking pissed to try to post anything without using full names.

So... I really don't feel like typing something long and drawn out.  Hell I don't feel like typing anything at all. I feel rather disjointed right now; in the I don't feel the need to give a fuck about anything right now. I should be trying to be all cheerful and everything for when I see my PCP this Wednessday. But I feel like why bother, still ( Read more... )