booo it is 6:45 in the morning. i am at jessie's house in st louis and my plane leaves at 9:30. she had a party here last night and people didnt leave until about an hour ago so i decided it would be best if i just stayed up, cause if i went to sleep i wouldnt be able to get up. but it is proving harder to stay awake until 8 when i have to leave ( Read more... )

i hate this school. i wish i could just go home for christmas and never come back. that would probably be a bad idea. ugh.

so, i am pretty sure i am transferring for my last 2 years. i cant stand it here anymore, and it is stupid to try. I just want to go somewhere where i am my normal happy self, and that isnt happening here. so far i am looking at BU, northeastern, tufts, ithaca, and syracuse. if anyone has any suggestions, i am still looking and would love some help

i dont even know what to say. it is hard to breath even. i have never felt like this. of course the first time i do the words that come out of his mouth are "it will never work". ive cried so much i dont think any more tears could come out. i dont think anyone really realizes the extent to which this has hurt me. i dont think he realizes it. not ( Read more... )

my little brother is in 5th grade. 5th grade! when did he get that old? does a 10 year old go to 5th grade? he knows how to spell words...now normally that wouldnt freak me out, but my little brother can talk to me online. i suppose he has been able to read and write for a while now. and my littlest sister got her drivers license. she's too young ( Read more... )

holy poo! it is 6:00am and i am just going to bed. yay 9:00 classes. actually more than than. 9-11 class, 11-1 class, 1-2 RA meeting, 3:30-5:30 PS 30, promenade 7-10, or 8-10 i cant remember. i hope it is 8-10.

i am completely ridiculous

i was walking bad from heimbold just now, after getting down and dirty in the plaster room, listening to blink 182 and alanis morissette on my ipod and realized, that for the first time since i came to sarah lawrence last august, i feel like a sarah lawrence student. i have always felt like i didnt belong here, and i never knew why, i dont know if ( Read more... )

ok, so im having a melt down. thinking about abroad programs brings up a number of problems. the biggest one including the fact that i have absolutely no idea what they want to do with my life. i dont really even have areas i think i am interested in. the problem is, i dont really know what the options are. all i know are like doctors, lawyers, ( Read more... )

so ive almost come to realize, and i am to the point of asking...whether the boy in which i have this crush on is actually capable of even having me as a friend. not because of anything i want, but because i really dont know if he is capable of letting anyone into his life right now. friends included. he is constantly talking about how he used to ( Read more... )