I spend three to four hours a day reading news stories and watching on Youtube a goldmine of interviews and exchanges with noted intellectuals who have done their research. Try and perplex Chomsky with an ill-informed question and be prepared to hear a retort backed by eighty to ninety sources. The internet is the indispensable tool for change. ( Read more... )

Somebody commented on my year-and-a-half-old post and it led me back here to a part of my mind I seem to have forgotten. How tragic. And yet that last post marked a bizarre transition that metamorphosed into a flawed part of me that I can't elude. Or maybe it just illuminated that flaw. I don't know. I'll begin at the end. That's where all the ( Read more... )

Social anxiety never hit me so hard as it did tonight. My friends had explained the feeling to me before: body a-tremble, utter silence, hot flashes, sweat drips swiftly from your pores. Only isolation combats the symptoms. For three hours of agony, I felt like an overheating furnace. The loud, commingling voices of my friend's family became a ( Read more... )

Nothing happens in my banal life that would necessitate a lengthy journal entry. It's all about throwing my thoughts out willy-nilly, I guess, but thoughts are scarce these days. To ridicule "world events" would just be redundant. An entry about my visit to Lipstick last night--where I tried my damnedest to throw away that high-schooler mentality ( Read more... )

Months ago I cryptically insulted the excuse "life isn't fair." This abstraction--life--cannot accept responsibility for anything: that is the sad fact of its place in the English language. The excuse arrives fallaciously on the tongues of those who wish to eschew actual conversation--it is an effective conversation stopper for some. But what the ( Read more... )

Every day is another emotional obstacle. This has been a difficult time for me. But in the interest of showing my respect for others, I realize that my missing blind cat and my increasingly rocky relationship is relatively feeble compared with some of my friends' problems. This is very true, and I'm sorry if I seem selfish in petitioning others for ( Read more... )

Keep in mind while reading the following account: after two and a half years at this job, this was the first time I had seriously attempted to sit complacently still without voicing blunt complaints ( Read more... )

Last week I met a somewhat racist person. I did not know this until today, however ( Read more... )

Having loafed around for a half-hour during my lunch break, accomplishing nothing, and feeling generally displeased with myself while being locked securely away in my deep imagination, imagining hilariously ideal scenarios, I returned to the music department a decrepit shell dreading the rest of a useless afternoon at work. My co-worker had been ( Read more... )

Sentimentality is the enemy of patience. Keep me from confronting it.