I have not been away at dance camp.

A ninja-squirrel hobbit would do no such thing.

A Baggins would do no such thing.

Never.

::looks around::

::makes sure no one is watching::

::does a small zen hobbit jig::

I think this cookie is going moldy. Hmm.

::grabs passing cat and smushes the cookie over it's head::

::is scratched to ribbons::

Well then. I'm going home. And if that Frodo doesn't marry a nice hobbit girl, after all I've done for him, then I'm going to kill him.

This, is getting ridiculous.

I am smushing this cookie into the next feline I see.

It seems as if cats are hard to come by in the Shire. Bingo doesn't want cookies rubbed into his cat.

Hmm.

Perhaps there are cats elsewhere. Or maybe some other kind of four-legged mammal might work. ::ponders::

I am possibly rethinking this quest business.

Yes, evil Frodo is technically my son and I should help him after the whole drowning and buggering off incident, but visiting all these lakes is playing havoc with my perfectly arranged hair. I think I am beginning to detect some frizz setting in.

Hmm.

Who's that over there in the hooded cloak?

( Read more... )

For the past...few weeks I have been in a state of intense mediation on a mystical kind of vision-quest.

I have found that I must go and see the mysterious robed figure by the lake and also dispose of the infestation in the milk jug.

::leaves for walking tour of every lake in the area::

After meeting one distinctly Gamgeeish excuse for a man and a suspiciously unsufficiently conditioned elf, I decided to meditate on the predicament my evil pansy of a son finds himself in.

It then came to me in a swift kick to the head from my mun vision, that I should undertake some kind of spiritual quest to attain some cure for the boy. And ( Read more... )

It has come to my attention that one of my sons has turned into a garden ornament.

This is... inconvienient.

I have to wash my hair. Perhaps I will go to mock rescue him tomorrow.

Ohhhhhm

Ohhhhm

Perhaps middle earth would be interested in a beauty parlour.

Ohhhhhm