i hate the fact that i love music so much it completely runs my life. every song i listen to tells me how to feel and when to feel it. and sometimes some songs bring up things i dont want to remember and never would have to if i just stopped listening to the damn songs. but just as i need the song to engage that emotion the song actually needs to ( Read more... )

yep i rarely update cuz for however long now its just been the same shit, take these meds, stop breaking shit, and follow all the rules...but can i ever do it. no. what does it matter...my mom wants to send me to the hospital, like always. she cant take me she says. i dont care anymore, ive no reason to stay...

things must change now...

picture yourself in a place where they all, know your name and want you to fall...
lovely and happy are things you lost touch with, you look up but there is just no more sky...

walking round in circles...

this holiday sucks

i feel for others, completely. enough even to make me sad. people tell me to stop fretting about others and the environment and to care bout myself. well if i followed those rules id be real lonely just like before. id rather be aware and compassionate than sheltered and lonely. it hurts though, but its worth it to share the pain and make things a ( Read more... )

damn, ive never felt like this before. ever. im drifting...lost. ive been empty before but never like this. never before. there've been times where i was unrealistic and only wanted what i had dreamed and i wanted it immediately. where all else seemed hopeless. but now it seems hopeless everywhere...even my dreams. i dont think i can do it. i dont ( Read more... )

its when we are emptiest that we see so much more...or at least its true for me. everyone has felt empty at sometime, where there is no emotion. when theres just nothing to feel, all you can do is look around and try to take in something else. thats kinda all life is, you start with nothing...and just absorb what is around, in the hopes of getting ( Read more... )

heres something going on in my life...im horrendously bored...i havent been this bored in a long time. i have advent children...finally.

dee, blow me :-)