gister huilde ik, vandaag ging ik dansen. twee voorstellingen en steeds kwam ik er zo warm en gelukkig uit. in een geblokt overhemd en snel aangeschoten all stars hoi zeggen tegen mijn ouders. een kus op mijn wang en gemeende lof en ik voelde me weer een danser. vreemd is dat, hoe ik me vaak het meest een danser voel na voorstellingen en lessen. ( Read more... )

it burns. you don't care. you never lost. it was long ago and i whisper. days like these feel like trees set ablaze. towels wrapped in leaves and words written on skin, so lighly only you could ever tell. and that didn't matter. all that mattered was the way your dress swayed and the way your lips were red. the elephants in the desert don't care. ( Read more... )

i wanted to write about my ballet class, but now i'm faced with a blank screen and an empty schedule, i can't recall what it was i wanted to say ( Read more... )

( rambly thoughts on my childhood )

i sat in the windowsill with a leg hanging out and thought of the wind. i'm heavier but i still feared it would pick me up, swoop me into the air then drop me. a heavy drop, only seconds long but enough to smash me to death. i thought, and i ate strawberries. contemplated a glass of wine i never drank.

tonight i watched louis theroux's extreme love ( Read more... )

starting today, i am going to write a little something every day for the next seven. en plein public. for no real reason other than that i want to, just to see what will come rolling out, even when i feel empty, lost for things to tell the world.

today i'm going to tell you about this book i bought for my friend a year ago. it's called friendship, ( Read more... )

op de fiets door de stad, in de regen, met een glimlach. want geluk. en de lichtjes in het donker, de studenten aan de tafels buiten, drankjes in hun handen en gelach over hun lippen. de geur van sigarettenrook en liefde. en ik was blij, want ik fietste daar, tussen de lichtjes en de lachende mensen, door het dikke gordijn van regen dat zo vrolijk ( Read more... )

this is currently the background on my phone.

i had a really lovely weekend not too long ago, and i tend to cling to those kind of things. especially when the future doesn't seem particularly bright and happy, i'll usually want to either stay in the past, or go back it. those moments where i was blissfully happy for whatever reason. i could say ' ( Read more... )

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”-Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country
i am happy. yesterday was beautiful. today is beautiful. tonight will be beautiful. i feel good.

&life;

are you just waiting, or are you really, really listening?