It has been so long, such a shame. I have grown so much, I have actually begun to recognize myself again. My soul is no longer lying in shambles at the pit of my stomach. I no longer have the pressing desire to run from room to room to hide from the world beyond the doors I locked. There are times when I feel so safe, it seems ridiculous to leave ( Read more... )

    My head is so full. Amazing how little things can muck up your thoughts. I wonder what it really is that I need. So far I have passed through stages of not being upset and still smiling every spare second to being depressed and picking at every little upset I might be able to find. As of now I am sitting here in weather that is hotter than ( Read more... )

What a shitty day! That would actually be a better tittle but I thought I would gradually ease you into whatever you may call this. So today, I went to the doctors with an optimistic veiw of "yay! I am finally going to get my knee fixed!" I left with an MRI appointment and the strong conclusion that I probably tore my ACL. What does this mean you ( Read more... )

It's the first week back from Spring Break and yet it doesn't feel like I have broken my routine at all. We have only completed a week and it feels like two. My reviews went well and what it boils down to is I need to not be as precise and clean as I am. I need to be messy and I need to teeter on the edge of success and failure. Risks need to be ( Read more... )

Why is it always the ones that make you doubt yourself that are the hardest to leave? Why are the ones that make you feel like you will never be enough the ones that keep you hesitating in the doorway? I suppose we want to one day be enough so therefore we stick around waiting for validation.

I am going hooooooooooome for the weekend! An audition ( Read more... )

Working wardrobe for a concert is more fun than work. You don't really do much other than sit around and talk to people while you wait for the costumes to go back on the rack so you can take them back downstairs. Also during this time you can receive wonderfully surprising calls from lovely Bassels. :D Yea, that was fun. So, no I will not be going ( Read more... )

I can't remember what the temperature outside felt like today. How strange. Although fairly successful, without much direction, the day was fully of extreme and tunnelized focus. I had a plan, I think, but the day just happened and I could only think about what was happening. I don't know where the rest of it is going and, to be honest, I don't ( Read more... )

It has come to the point where I can't distinguish people and where I know them from. I glanced at a girl while walking back to my room and at first I believed her to only resemble someone I knew from Interlochen, thinking the person I saw wasn't from Calarts. Then I realized, no she does go here, she was in my literature class last semester.She ( Read more... )

While taking a walk with a friend, in the rain, I discovered two pieces of paper in my coat pocket that were documents of events from Interlochen. The first, a strip of paper reminding students to come the Thesis III and the other, none other than a signed receipt (indicating a charge) from the Melody Freeze. I was swept back into a pool of ( Read more... )

Today is Valentine's day. A day to pay respect to the ultimate martyr for love and recognize the fact that we may indeed be in love no matter how much we want to remain in denial. My heart was full of the deepest love I could ever feel. First, the love I have for dance was enough to make my energy explode from within and emit radiation to those ( Read more... )