shots hard living at chases moms, being pregnant. they are wierd, so caniving, so backstabbing. they tell me things i dont want to know about chase. things that will drive us apart. it hurts. not only that but now i realise ill never be perfect for him. he will never want to show off someone like me. its just not fair. ill never be girly enough. ( Read more... )

no matter waht it feels like i fail with chase, chase and drae have formaed an alliance against me! mind you ive been drinking some beer, so it might not make much sence but i have to write something, chase acts as if he hates me. everything has to be for him no matter what! he flat told me to leave, im so upset right now that i could blow a gasket ( Read more... )

i havent had a friday music night since i was a little girl. just seemed right to do it in my house tonight, sophies asleep, its been a pretty good day. i couldnt be any happier, everyone was right, it will be ok, especially when we get our own place. i love this man more than life itself, chase kendal hartford im so glad your the father of our ( Read more... )

today was better than the other days, been sick for two days with fever and all. slept all day while chase worked, now meeting in the morning then work tommorrow, eating chipotle then night night

its truly uncanny how much i look like emily. shes not fat, shes actually very pretty. that hurt my heart really bad. i could die a million times over and not be worried one bit. this man has hurt me deep this time. im a fool. theres not enough weed on the planet to make me numb enough at this point in time. i just want to cry but the tears wont ( Read more... )

if only he could understand how i felt. seems that no matter how i explain it, it dosnt make sense, i wanna be cool with him, i love him, but as the days go on things seem bleak. it kills...... ive decided that im going to write in here when i get upset. itll be the only diary i keep. no one will ever see it, or at least anyone who matters. oh the ( Read more... )

it always hurts when you realise that the person you have spent 3 years with is prolly not the person your going to be with forever. I had a child with this man and now im regretting every bit of it at the moment, he hurts me so bad inside. i try and i try to explain these things to him and slowly but surely i think the more i say these things ( Read more... )

Being a mom is so much harder than I thought. It takes a hell of alot out of you thats for sure!!!! Chase and I are still holding on, sometimes its bleak and cloudy but we are still giving it a go. I know hes not in love with me me and it sucks so bad sometimes. But if hes kinda trhing I guess thats all I can ask fir. My heart hurts often enough to ( Read more... )

So naples isn't as bad as I thought...unless getting completly ignored by chase for everyone else is ok. He's even telling timmy a bunch of stories and I don't even get to do anything with chase...this sucks...im ready to go home

Wow....an interesting day...found some stuff out on accident....really hurt but nothing that I can change.. Chase was gonna marry emily. I was talking to jd about how my name was gonna be bigger and what not then jd says to go tell chase I want my name hyphenated and to see what chase would say. I played it off smooth and was like I wanna keep my ( Read more... )