I have stupid arthritis. My knees, which have bothered me for years, started causing more problems in the past few months so I finally went to the doctor. The arthritis diagnosis isn't a surprise, but it does make the fact that I am OLD really hit home. Even though I look and feel old, I still clung to this false belief that I somehow wasn't. Can't ( Read more... )

I am finishing up a short poetry class. We were assigned to study and respond to a poem by Sharon Olds. I chose Apology, because it reminded me of the small creatures that my cat kills on the regular.

This is what I came up with.

His Nature

In the light of day I have

seen them, observed

their bodies stopped

like hands on broken clocks -

birds, ( Read more... )

I've come to talk to you again.

This has been a weird-ass day and it isn't even NOON. I started the morning at Target, buying a birthday card for Ford's father. Ho-hum business as usual, but I did make a mental note of how Target seems so crappy to me these days. Just a cavernous wasteland of useless shit (and greeting cards). I used to love that ( Read more... )

I still hate everything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN6uEwQ-t_U

Right now I am thinking about sea glass. Specifically, the exhilaration of wandering the edge of the surf, eyes on the foamy sand for the shards of a magic mirror. Green and brown, milky white, sometimes blue and, impossibly, red. Bits of broken glass from other times - lost, discarded - tumbled in the waves until smooth, shining like a reflection ( Read more... )

Notes on the apocalypse.

I heard somewhere that one of the earliest indicators of Big trouble was when all the Waffle Houses started shutting down.

1. Scattered.
From inside my room, I notice movement on the street. The simple act of moving forward is liberating. Motion defeats stagnation. I consider the freedom of automobile trips and a measure  of ( Read more... )

Every day like the day before. Complete loss of meaning. A bottomless cup of bad coffee.

It was pretty bad. I wasn't as prepared as I should have been, because I cannot concentrate during this time. I was nervous, I rambled, I couldn't provide good answers to things like "why don't you have a college degree" and "Why did you leave your last job."

I am certain that I will never work again. I just want to go around punching people.

It ( Read more... )

Via videoconference.

I'm only going through the motions. They won't hire me - I always do well in interviews, but when they get to calling my old jobs, my previous media agency confides that I suck as a person and then I don't get the job. In any event, this job, if offered, wouldn't start until after the Virus is over - and that's when - next year ( Read more... )