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Life during Quarantine
This would be easier with a lobotomy, or without consciousness.
My brain is numb and keeps stumbling, my fat fingers are unskilled. I can't think or type. I feel hateful and spiteful and I just want to hurt. Myself, others, objects nearby, etc.
I wish the world would just END, ALREADY. This drawn-out bullshit it not working for me. I've always said ( Read more... ) -
The world is finally ending!
So it seems like a great time to get back into my LJ practice. Some folks practice law or medicine or fucking YOGA, but not me. Those are wastes of time. I am here to practice LJ. Evidence proves that when you do it regularly, you get good at it. Efficient. This also applies to masturbation. Maybe they are the same. In any event, it feels good. ( Read more... ) -
from a 2009 post
Cubicles should be something you never have to know about. They are weird, like cells with one wall missing. But actually, that fourth wall is the understanding that without a job you would be screwed so you can't run out of it into the sunshine.
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people i hate
meryl streep and glenn close. I can't tell them apart, for gods sake, so both of them. but mainly meryl streep. fuck her.
bob dylan, too. the rage is burning in me like the kind of merciless firegasm that comes from a ghost pepper fart tsunami being cornholed by an eternal flame.
obviously, my old bosses but i am trying to move past it.
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Give it to me raw
Looking out the window now - there is a lovely sunset. Jupiter-striped, grey and orange, behind the pines. I notice it and immediately the voice in my head reminds me that I don't deserve it.
All I want is to die in my sleep, like Kenny Rogers' Gambler. That's the best I can hope for. I fucking well know when to fold 'em!
I am unemployable, my ( Read more... ) -
Ain't got no job
I was unceremoniously dumped from that whore-ass media company. Lewis Media Partners, I hope you all get Chlamydia. May your clams rot and itch and run with pus. Sadly, bad-mouthing the Lilly-Pulitzer pants-wearing bitches does not make me feel better. Well maybe a LITTLE. I like to CUSS and be VULGAR.
And I never even unleashed my best self on ( Read more... ) -
I don't know how this works anymore
It has been years since I could even find friends entries on here, the main page just shows two and then says "Sorry, there no more entries to display." I miss the old LJ.
I have had a sinus infection/allergies/head death for a solid month. Antibiotics did not help. I am tired of doctors offices so I am just dealing with it. I cough so much at ( Read more... ) -
I am a class taker
I took the afternoon off from work to participate in a writing workshop with the woman I met at a printmaking/journal class a while back. I may or may not have written about it here. Probably not because livejournal is for angry bitching, yes?
I enjoyed the workshop today. The space was in an older building that reminded me of apartments I had when ( Read more... ) -
It's January the 73rd, and all the clocks are striking fuck this.
A few more days of this winter and I may have to breathe in car exhaust until dead. It's April, pollen is everywhere, and snowed last night. The house is freezing and I am so depressed. My nose is running. Everything is wrong. I am on basically a BOX of antidepressants but I am still filled with dread and the cold doesn't help. Also, our taxes this ( Read more... ) -
Fool's Paradise
Last night I had one of those dreams that seems like a movie, or feels like a perfect short story in your mind. Already it is disintegrating in the daylight, but I will try to save the gist of it.
I was not myself, more like a character, but I felt like myself. I was traveling with a small group of fellow vagabonds. This was the 30s, and we rode ( Read more... )