i don't even pray for it to stop anymore. i don't even question why it's happening to me, and not to someone else. why would i ask God to make it stop? shouldn't i just be asking Him to relent? i know that these are trials and hardships that i must overcome, but why? what's the point? i've spent my life dodging bullets, but all the while ( Read more... )

in case any of you don't know, the band i sing for is now called They Move Beneath Our Feet and we're going to record our three song demo this sunday. IM me at see dutch mosh if you're interested in getting a copy ( Read more... )

Okay, you unappreciative little fuckers, my triumphant return was anything but exultant. For Fuck's sake the McRib had a more jubilant welcoming back than my sincere, passionate literature ( Read more... )

I’m writing this for all the wrong reasons. I’m not feeling it at all. For years I’ve dreamt of being a writer. Of being admired, of making someone read a passage penned by me that would send chills down your spine. That it would spark your mind so greatly that an electrical current full of emotion and passion would ignite and cover your body ( Read more... )

My livejournal hiatus is over. Tomorrow we return to the angsty, paining, love struck song that is the opus of Dutch.

Be on the look out.

Friday, October 17th, 1989 ( Read more... )

"So, I'm sittin' on this old stack of newspapers when this hotass fuckin' chick comes walkin' down the street just struttin' her God's given gifts. And then, get this," he nudges me preparing me for the climax of his anecdote,"the bitch stops right in front of me and in the manliest voice I ever heard she says, 'Hey buddy, can I borrow some ( Read more... )

A slowly moving apparition of nicotine haunted the dark the office as the young woman shifted impatiently in the stiff, uncomfortable wooden chair ( Read more... )

I need practice writing and this is a good way to give me practice and to have fun ( Read more... )

I won't be content until it's all over. Until I've ruined everything. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to type or write or whisper into the phone. I don't know how to explain this empty feeling that has me completely bursting. I'm so completely full of emptiness ( Read more... )