i've got a big house all to myself. friday i'll have draft beer on tap in my living room. i've got three cars and a motorcycle. i've got hundreds of cable channels. you know what i do? i go to work, come home, sit on the internet hoping somebody talks to me. i feel like a fucking footnote in the lives of a couple dozen or so people. actually i can' ( Read more... )

i'm a god amongst carnivores.

that's my way of saying i'm currently experimenting with my first batches of pork and beef jerky.

one of the secret ingredients is lots of tequila. maybe i'm a god amongst lushes as well.

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our ( Read more... )

august 22nd i'm going to chicago to see the faint. i rock and you're all a bunch of bitches.

either everyone i know is getting all weird or i'm getting all weird.

i'm in the middle of a major nervous breakdown.

i've decided my dad is a bad influence on me. last week he called me to tell me about a car he was getting on trade in and thought i should buy. dammit dad, i already own three cars and do not need a fourth two months before i move to detroit for college.

recently i've had very insincere thoughts about joining the navy. the most important reason for these thoughts is that i already have one naval tattoo, plan on getting another, and feel mildly fraudulent. the second reason is that i want a story to tell the kids or grandkids (in the distant future). most importantly i want to justify the tattoos, ( Read more... )

am i the only one that graduated from coldwater in 2004 that isn't engaged or already married? jesus christ this is ridiculous... these kids are only 22 or 23 years old.

the planning has begun... may 25th, bbq, my parents' place on the lake. ribs, shrimp, wings... probably grilled veggies too for all you pussies that don't eat meat. perhaps a keg of dos equis. i plan on spending a few hundred dollars on this, but i really need to know how many people are going to be there. so RSVP fuckers.