My ass hurts. Not so much the ass hole, but the whole ass. It's an annoying pain that kicks in every time i stand, sit, walk, or just generally flex my ass muscles. And no, i'm not into ass-play, so any of you homosexual males that may have just gotten excited at the mention of my ass hurting, STOP! STOP NOW!! You can reference the subject line for ( Read more... )

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I woke up on some damn my body hurts shit. So, yall bitches know i'm back into my fitness shit, and abusing my body in the gym..... Well, i'm also on some fat burning cardio shit, and got a mountain bike from a friend, and now we ride like 10 miles uphill in a day. We, being my cousin and i. He's fucking crazy, but all that unbottled energy is the ( Read more... )

I was sequestered on Tuesday. The next time i receive one of those JUROR notices in the mail, i'm taking a shit, and wiping my ass with it. These bitches had me hemmed up until 10:30 that night, on some DUI trial. Believe me, i did everything i could to get out of that shit, but even with that, i still came across as one of the 6 most level headed ( Read more... )

I love pornography. And pornography loves me.

That is all.

So David Hasselhoff walks into his agent's office and says "From now on I want to be known as just 'the hoff'" "Sure David" his agent replies "no hassel!"

Oh yeah, did i mention? Knight Rider is coming back in 2008

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It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu ( Read more... )

I used to be a porn star, but i never made no money, because every time i bust a nut, my penis would go gummy, so i had to fuck the bitches raw, and skeet all on their tummies, and then shove my face below their waists, and eat em, yummy yummy, I had pussy on my breath, and fucking pussy on my mind, and undercover brother even got some pussy from ( Read more... )