finally went out with my internet frient Angel. We've been chatting on and off of the last month. She found me on yahoo personals during the brief time I was on there. She is a mother of three who is going to college for Biology, and has both a wife and a husband who both live in Portland. She is german and very loud and brash and bisexual. ( Read more... )

So, yes the deed is done….. the boy is gone, notice I didn’t call him a man….. la la. I think a couple of weeks ago I was obsessing about him, and the thought of his leaving tortured me somewhat, but now I’ve passed that and am feeling okay about it. I’ve definitely felt worse. But I’ve also come to accept that depression is something I will ( Read more... )

Wow, I have now officially been discriminated against because I'm bi. I was calling around in Kona for places to temporarily stay, and I was hooked up with this coffee plantation place called: Lesbeans. As in, this coffee is picked only by lesbians. It's expensive and in high demand, apparently, since it's picked by bona fide lesbians. The ( Read more... )

Wow, I've never had so many meetings cancelled, so many interviews postponed, and so many things fall through befor. It's some kind of crazy around here. But just when I was starting to feel kind of hopeless, I got a call from Blue Hawaiian Helicoptor over in Kona, and they called me in to an interview on that side. Crazy hours, drug test, early ( Read more... )

Sunday morning and I'm having a very intence and mundane dream about I don't know what. Suddenly, I realize unconsciously, that my bed is shaking. Gotta be THE most bizare way to wake up. My air mattress bed is literally shaking like jello. I'm like the sleepy whip cream on the jello, and stuff is falling off shelves, and the earth rumbling and ( Read more... )

I guess it never was in control. I am asque with emotion, and it's relentlessly pounding like a hord of disgruntled club-weilding dwarves. I feel so out of control. I want to feel okay, and know that I will someday make freinds, and not feel so totally alone here, but it's really hard. What about those days when putting forth the tremendous ( Read more... )

So now the world, (or just me) will never know if I would have gone through with it. If anyone out there is wondering what the exiting conclusion to the Sugardaddie/Roger situation was, here it is: I was messaging him on my computer, Blake was nearby. I really didn't know what do to, so I asked him what I should type. I told Roger that I would ( Read more... )

So I went in on friday to Hilo to run errands and eat at the Garden snack for some BBQ Ahi, and then left directly from there to Kona. Oh yeah, I also had a job interview at the Blue Hawaiian Helicoptor tours over at the airport. They said they would be calling me back soon to make me an offer. Blake and I drove over using Saddle Road, which is ( Read more... )

So I actually went to meet this guy, Roger, who found me on yahoo personals, which I don't even use anymore. He is a native Hawaiian, and he is a millionare. He straight up asked me to be his woman, or something. Yes, to be a kept woman, for the next year of my life. I've ofton toyed with this notion, and joked around with people about it, and ( Read more... )

So I've had one of those John lennon/ Yohko One esque "weekends" that has lasted, what, three weeks? My how time flys when you hang out by the ocean, off the grid, away from all internet, phone service, and reliable electricity for days on end, smoking pot and having sex. But not just that. I have also learned how to skate board (a very usefull ( Read more... )