How many spies are out there using this to keep tabs on me still? I guess I admire your resolve, keeping your posts during such long periods of inactivity. Three people I thought I'd never see or talk to again have contacted me within the last 36 hours. Something is definitely up.

- Have finished two Americorps terms, opted out of a third term due to lack of education award incentive ( Read more... )

It means sitting at my work computer and thinking, "Gee, I sure would like to grab a boob," but knowing that's not going to happen ( Read more... )

Why must my coworker insist on constantly crapping on my heart ( Read more... )

Not only do I believe assisted suicide should be legal, I think it should be a form of entertainment carried out at huge venues, with ticket sales going to the family of the deceased. I don't want to die alone and tired in my bed, I'd rather go out screaming at the top of my lungs ( Read more... )

Gosh, even in a big pile of nerds I still feel like a weirdo. Not feeling too optimistic about ever making friends. Think I'm just gonna need to rely on the mothership snatching me away to where I really belong. Hopefully that place is pretty cool.

Receiving text messages on your new etch-a-sketch phone when it's set to vibrate.

Coworker: "Were you just laughing?"
Me:"Yeah. Why?"
"This may sound weird, but, I dunno, it sounded nice."
"You're right, that does sound weird."
"Well, its just that I don't hear you laugh very often."
"Oh. That's because you're not very funny."

Blammo.

BLITZER: If Obama has his way, you would spend another $701,885 in taxes. $700,000 above and beyond - you pay a lot of taxes right now if you’re making millions of dollars a year as you are. How do you feel about that ( Read more... )

I mean that in the nicest way possible. I'm really just very jealous of him; he makes death sound so easy. "Yeah, I'll rot. I'm ok with that." It's so easy to say, but the reality of it terrifies me ( Read more... )