I miss companionship. I miss feeling loved. I miss feeling wanted, needed. I miss being taken care of and taking care of someone else. I miss not having to worry about my future, not having to worry about whether or not I'll ever have a family, not having to worry about finding someone who would love me. I miss the passion, the intimacy, the ( Read more... )

I feel numb inside, almost paralyzed. Am I even capable of feeling pain anymore? I feel regret, I feel alone, I feel angry and betrayed and forgotten, but can I feel anymore pain? Is there a threshold, a point at which an individual experiences so much emotional pain that they become desensitized? If there is such a point, I think I've reached it. ( Read more... )

I'm supposed to be in my prime at this age, so why do I feel like the best part of my life is already in the past?

Some days I can't help but wonder: Why me? What did I do that was so terrible that I should deserve a fate like this? I've always been a decent person; not perfect, but certainly no worse than most. How will I find myself again now that I've been blinded? How will I walk again now that I've been crippled? How will I live again now that I've died ( Read more... )

I have two pet peeves that piss me off to no end ( Read more... )

To be honest, I didn't understand why she was so extremely upset that next morning. I mean, yes, I made an ass out of myself and said and did things that I regretted later, but I was drunk... it's expected. So I just didn't fully understand her reaction. I spent the rest of Friday and part of Saturday thinking about it. Then it hit me. I could only ( Read more... )

...and so begins the festivities. I hope today isn't a total bust. I'll be consuming lots and lots of alcohol, so whatever happens at least I'll be drunk. Goddammit, I should be sleeping in on my birthday. I can't remember the last time I slept past 9:30. Anyway, bought my first alcohol at about 5 or 10 after midnight this morning, kept the receipt ( Read more... )

I'll be 21 in three hours. A person should be happier for their 21st birthday. It's just not right. I guess I'll drink my sorrows away... again.

The pills seem to be working a little... and no side effects as of yet. I haven't felt quite as hopeless lately, but it's certainly not a complete solution. I'm still hanging onto the idea that we might be able to date again eventually, but I'm probably only torturing myself and making it more difficult for me to move on. Still, I can't help but ( Read more... )

My thoughts on how love should be as opposed to how it really is ( Read more... )