Last night/early this AM, I dreamt I was sleeping in a couch at T’s house. When I woke, he had left for work and his wife sat in the couch.....telling me would eat & talk. Shecwas trying to manipulate me, clearly.

Then, when I awoke....she (I’m assuming) had blocked me on his Instagram account as well as hers. 😕 I’ll leave it along I guess for now ( Read more... )

I never wrote about old settlers. Maybe later. I hardly have seen him since. I’m still in love but I feel bad about it., I also think more & more he feels stuck & is unhappy & depressed. I love him & I want to tell him, but I also need to quit my job & run away from him. I think.

T-long story that I will put in tomorrow. I’m so in love with this man. So very much in love.

I have so much to say. I workednoghts for 4 months & hardly saw him. I'm still completely in love with him. I can't tell if things have changed a little on his end but sometimes he feels colder than he once did. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I'm trying to get another job.....truly hoping to get this other position. I won't see him ( Read more... )

I never even finished my story about the videos & all the happenings since. Maybe later or another day. I just want to say ..... T is such a beautiful soul. He said the most beautiful prayer at church this past Sunday for the reformation service. He had asked me several times if I was going to go. I wanted to but was unsure since I worked the night ( Read more... )

I still miss him. Of course he came in on a Monday....to assist with a c-section. We saw each others couple of times and the he came up to me today hey. I know he has to miss me a little.....or at least the attention I give him. I really miss him & love him. I'm trying to distance myself & be patient. Also trying to let him focus on his family.

Not sure why I'm journaling.
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I pray that God will give me a clear sign. I feel horrible that I'm so in love with this man. Yet everything is so blurry. I know I'm in love but that doesn't mean he's meant for me.

So today I saw him singling in the choir & then he did the scripture reading.
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My heart aches for him.
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