i drowned. it's over. i feel so numb. 

so i'm having a late valentines day picnic with my boyfriend on friday. :) i'm making him a flash drive full of cute stuff, too. i'm not sure if that's too geeky or not, but i think it's cute. xD i'm not sure what kind of food to pack, anyone have any ideas? i'm kinda broke so cheap/easy stuff is a plus. <3

i feel extremely depressed tonight. it's... painful. i wish i was a better, less selfish, cold hearted person. empathy is extremely hard to come by tonight. lately i haven't been caring if my friends are happy or sad or anything. i told my mom and she said, "well you are bipolar, it is an egocentric disease." and for some reason, that hurt more ( Read more... )

yeah. so. fuck the world.

sooooo i haven't posted for a while. not a lot is new, really. my boyfriend and i reached our seventh month!!!! OVER HALF A YEAR!!! xD i'm so happy. it feels like it's been so much longer ( Read more... )

so, tomorrow is the first day of school after winter break. i don't feel like going back. :/ school just isn't as fun as it was last year. but last year also got me into a lot of trouble. tomorrow i'm also gonna go get my learners permit. (finally) so i can learn to drive! :) i have a free car as soon as my mom's friend gets a new one, so that's ( Read more... )

hey, you all. between august of last year, and may of this year, i've done a lot of things. had a lot of firsts and a lot of lasts. there are so many things i wish i could take back, and i regret so many things, but what i've learned from them is going to hey, you all. between august of last year, and may of this year, i've done a lot of things. ( Read more... )

i have a lot of regrets about the last year. i did a lot of things that i really wish i hadn't done. i wish i hadn't dated anyone, and i wish i still had my virginity. i want more than anything to be able to give that to my boyfriend, who gave me his first everything. i know i don't deserve him, and it kills me inside. but i count myself lucky to ( Read more... )

been mega depressed since my grandma died. the only thing really cheering me up is my boyfriend. he doesn't try to make me talk about it, he just tries to make me smile. which is nice. most everyone else either doesn't give a shit, or cares too much and wants to make me talk about it. D:< it fucking pisses me off. it's like "fucking cunts I DON'T ( Read more... )

i feel so very emo right now. wanted to cut so very badly. wanted the sting of the blade and the opening of my veins and the spilling of blood. but i didn't. because i promised him. anyway. ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE