Lost In Translation

[ebana]

The Japanese press always asks the more interesting questions.

Interviewer: Do you enjoy working with horses?

Well honestly, they have much smaller egos than most of my costars, they appreciate my creative input, and they often smell better than most of the extras. So, yeah, I'm a horse fan.

Interviewer: Have you ever eaten a horse then?Uh.

Comments

[ledoyenvirginie]

You should try the French press. Maybe they won't ask as many Brad questions and more Eric questions. Then again, you were in Cannes, you must've had a brush in with the French papparazzi.

Tokyo is beautiful, but expensive. Not as expensive as London, but expensive nevertheless. Can you get me some of those chewing gum in little boxes? I've developed a strange affliction for them.

[ebana]

It's funny. When you say French Press, I think coffee. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep.

The French were actually more receptive to me...probably because I wasn't an American. They actually impressed me with their more insightful questions. But then again, France has always been the pinnacle of artistic appreciation.

You like the gum as well? I bought a few boxes of the stuff to bring home. I could probably part with a few of them for my friends. I may even be coming back to France soon, so I can deliver them in person.

[ledoyenvirginie]

Coffee. *laughs*

I don't think the French press is very fond of Americans. They like to shoot them down with questions quite often. It can be amusing sometimes. But when it comes to talented Australians like yourself, they want to god-ify you as much as possible. Look at the facts. You, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe (okay, I know he's from New Zealand, but the French love him).

I love the gum. I always buy a whole box (I mean those huge cardboard boxes) when I'm in Japan. But I haven't been there in 5 years, so my supply has been long gone. You'll deliver my gum in person? Mon dieu! You really ARE a hero! haha.

[ebana]

I know. I'm a simpleton.

I felt really welcome in France. The Americans' loss is my gain, frankly. I think I could get rather used to being godlike.

I'll make sure to bring you enough gum to last you another 5. It may be a little while until I get there, but I was planning on visiting Diane at some point, and I'm sure we can stop by and say hello, gum in hand.

[kkreuk]

What did Brad Pitt think about that interview?

I love the questions we're asked and have to answer a certain way so we're marketable and "qualify" to certain audiences. Makes my skin itch and some way or another I always slip up. I always look forward to finishing up a project when I'm working on it but afterward bad seperation anxiety sets in and it's the shit. Miss the cast, miss the crew, even miss getting up extra early every morning and hating the city you're required to spend time in.

I think you really meant handcuffs and not houseplants.

[ebana]

ARRRRGH! Actually, lately, aside from seeing him at Premieres and parties, I haven't really spoken to him too much. I notice he hasn't updated his journal in a while as well. I wonder if the strain of being an international superstar is getting to him.

I'm actually a terrible liar, so I try to steer the interview as much as I can. I usually just try to be funny and have lots of anecdotes ready from my professional life so that time gets eaten up pretty quickly and we don't really have as much time to 'get personal'

Caught on to that one, did you? You're sharp.

[kkreuk]

I really just wanted to annoy you. I wonder if he's taking a few hints from Achilles. Let's hope not.

Getting personal in interviews, I forget what that is. After all, I write letters to myself which must make me schizophrenic. Yes Mr. Conan O'Bryan (Brian?) all you have to do is take a piece of paper out and write to yourself. It's that simple. I didn't really like the guy.

It took a lot.

[ebana]

I'm sure he'll be back eventually in one way or another. He's too much of a ham to stay away from his adoring fans.

He's a funny bloke. I can appreciate that. Besides, having your own show is really a bitch. I know from experience.

I may have left a few clues lying around.

[ewan_mcgregor]

I'm so fucking tired that I thought the third question read "What was it like being in a horse movie with Brad Pitt?" And I thought that was a rather interesting way to categorise Troy.

The best way to distract people from digging around in your life is to take your pants off. This is all very true. Especially with the Americans.

[ebana]

The third question may as well have been that. Because apparently, to the Japanese, I rank somewhere just below horses, which is just below Brad.

I'll admit that your pantslessness can be pretty disarming especially when rewound and replayed several times on VHS. I'll have to try to insert more of that into my work.

[valance_holly]

I am still yet to see Troy but I hear you are being rated as 'outstanding performance' which is wonderful to hear. I know how you feel about being homesick, i am getting a little that way myself, i think it's because all i seem to do is work work work.

[ebana]

You haven't seen my movie yet, Holly? For shame.

Work less, watch yours truly in movies more.

[valance_holly]

lol you tell my record producer that! I'd love to take time off. Don't worry, I'll get around to seeing it.

[ebana]

Obviously your priorities are all out of whack.

[lucy__liu]

Oh, that dastardly PR. We hate it, yet we depend on it. I think it's probably worse for you than it is for me.

I've been told that I need to see Black Hawk Down by some crazy fans of yours. I promise to do that soon.

Hi.

[ebana]

I don't know how your PR could be anything but positive. As I was telling someone yesterday, you're beautiful, talented, intelligent, and funny. I'm sure it would take a super-sleuth to detect any speck of dirt on you, and even then it would be pretty insignificant.

I think I might be gushing. Time to reinforce my ego.

Yes, I was brilliant in BHD, you should definitely see that. And I know that those crazy fans are Ewan, Brian, and Orlando. You don't have to protect their identity.

[lucy__liu]

Stop. You're going to give me a god-complex. Or something like that. Don't believe the stories, Eric Bana. I'm very meek and fluffy beneath this tough and cordite-encrusted exterior.

Actually, that movie is a staple with my brother and his pals. They've been trying to get me to see it for ages. Won't they be envious when I inform them that I know you? I rule.

[ebana]

I knew it. You're the killer with the heart of gold, just like I always imagined you.

It's weird to think of BHD as a cult movie. Is your brother a bit of a nutter?

Think how even more envious they'd be if they knew you let me take you for a drink.