I went to the doctor the other day to start the process once again of trying to get myself better. After the poking and prodding, the million questions, she glanced down at her sheet of paper and looked at me for a good ten seconds and asked for clarification for what I do for work. I install tile floors, I replied, and sometimes wood or vinyl. Her ( Read more... )

in my life, there really has never been much to fear. sure, i've had my share of emotional hesitations and awareness of immediate physical maladies, but that has nothing on tonight. nothing. for a single moment, i felt raw and unadulterated fear. the tremor felt in my bones, chill my blood and forced me to feel my mortality ( Read more... )

it's taken me every single day i've lived, every second i've wasted, every last moment i've experienced to come to appreciate this. these few moments in their relative quantity, the times late at night where nothing happens. where i can just walk from this place, out into the wild and find a place where there is nothing but peace ( Read more... )

one hour and counting.

the apartment is in good shape, not too terribly much to carry, i'm wired as all get out on caffine, and i'm just waiting to see dawn break over denver one last time.

it's finally real, i can say goodbye and mean it. (well. for 3 months)

see you fuckers in june.

Quite literally. Over the past 3 days and continuing on through the wee hours of this very morning. I've moved my fair share, from across town, to across the country, but never has this impeteus come upon me ( Read more... )

in a small run down building, in a small run down town, there once was a small gathering of people who had the desire to call themselves a church. bound by common faith, old hymals, and an inadequate grasp of the english language, these folk found peace in their weekly ceremonies. never was a single judgement passed in the direction of their ( Read more... )

it's been a long cruel, joyous run ( Read more... )

I know it's late notice, but that much should be expected from me by now ( Read more... )

i'm starting to work on a list of things that i wanna do in the next couple months. and i think jeffrey just pointed me in the right direction.

i want to do this.

there might never be a bigger gamble.

naught one for success, nor a sense of fullfillment.

but i finally feel that i might actually mean something. and it's posion to my mind.

always something. always another thing. i need to forget how to hope.